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Wednesday, February 25, 2004
HELLLOOOO MY PRETTIES! Its good to be home and back on the blog. OMG, iv forgotten how to type, my fingers are going all over the place. Plus its freeeeezing so my fingers are no better than having mashed potatoes for fingers. Mmm potato. Anyway, many of you have been asking of my holiday in HK (though we all know its just being polite and you couldn’t give a rats arse lol)
Let me enlighten you. Ready kids?
It the beginning, it all began at the airport. We had a marvellous start seeing that we queued for 12 minutes in the wrong check in line which was in fact for Malta. Strangely enough, I got a D of E flashback where we went wrong from the start…
Anyway, when safely on the plane, (you can see I'm skipping the minor details as I have 12 days to cover lol) on the plane, mid flight I found myself sitting by the window listening to Red Wine by Prince. Yeah the onboard radio station was a bit backward seeing that it only played oldies and embarrassingly enough I found myself singing along to “Believe” by Cher - Cue the “do you belieeeeeve in love after love (after love after love after love)” and the shocked silence of the children in the seat behind me who coincidentally, spent most of the flight kicking the seat and flipping the table open/shut/open/shut/open ARGH!
We were sitting above the wing and when night came I had to shut the window – iv seen that scene where the man opens the aeroplane window and the monster’s outside his window… *shudder* And no it was NOT sesame street.
Arrived in HK , it was like a frozen pizza being put into an oven. And yes we looked slightly bizarre walking around the airport carrying scarves and gloves. Obviously after the SARS alerts, HK has become a lot more secure. I had to go through heat scanning, passport check, x-ray baggage thing, immigration dept and customs before I could get out of the airport.
Actually, going off slightly on a d+m thought for a minute – when I arrived back in the city, I stepped out the cab and in that one moment, I smiled to myself and thought …I'm back – and there was this sense of … security, wellbeing. I don’t know why but it just felt … good to be in a place where I don’t stick out like a sore thumb for those of you perceptive enough to know what I'm talking about.
BUT ANYWAY! Sorry to diverge from my usual manner (ie. Shouting BOOOBIES at the top of my voice) but just thought id add a bit of depth into my blog.
Hong Kong is a place full of new technology, cheap clothes, good food, not to mention pirate DVDs and fakes. I must say the fakes are quite hilarious. On my travels I came across “Oalvin Klain” knickers and “RQ Polo” – which I did buy a few of seeing that they were 10 dollars (70p) for 3 pairs. Oh the cheapness!
TV is …. Interesting. I got up one morning, switched on the TV and was watching a cartoon that featured various assorted fruit with dancing potatoes and, what was unmistakably a singing fridge. Give them hair and voila! you have “ The Boobahs go Catering”
Also the adverts are pretty much the same, but some in Chinese. They even have the “I'm LOVING IT!”. Herbal essences seem to be a big hit but its hilarious hearing and seeing the monkey that says “I think we’r using the wrong shampoo” jabber away in Chinese. There was much mirth when the adverts for a shop called “Wanko” and a music CD called “Lets Folk” came on.
HK is so technologically advanced. They have automatic paper towel dispensers that say “have a nice day” in a hundred different languages! EEEE! Lol. However, no matter how advanced they may be, the people of HK seem to worship Derren Brown and The Cheeky Girls – where the relation is, I know not but the high streets of the city are full of bright lights and happy tunes. Its teenybopper paradise! Seriously, I'm not kidding, it’s the first place where iv heard the Bring Me To Life dance remix.
On my last days we took a trip to Macau, the neighbouring island. I’v renamed it Wonderland for it is INSANE. The cars zoom around like they’r on amphetamines. The lights flash on/off at epileptic-fit speed. The taxis think they’r being hailed if you merely scratch your arm. OH the trouble I had explaining that no I didn’t need a taxi and no I didn’t want to go downtown. Such is the problem with language barriers though I'm sure that Hoskins books of foreign swear words would have come in handy.
In Macau we went to a casino and I WON 40 DOLLARS ON THE SLOTS! …. Then I lost it all. Darn. Heres a tip. Once the machine pays out big money, go and find a new one! It was on my first go so I was like, hey I’ll just have another go… and another.. and another.. etc
It’s extreme in Macau. There are so many people. The businessmen who flip out their cool cellular phones whilst running to catch a bus just to prove they are capable commuters. The tourists who take a picture of EVERYTHING about three thousand times. The old people …. *shudder*
Life Lesson - DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE GRANNIES OF HONG KONG! They come across as small and frail but nooooo , it’s a completely different story. They’ll curse and hit you with their stick (which any hardcore granny will carry), before pushing you out of the way. AND, if you’v come across a real traditionalist, she’ll spit on the street. If this event- Get out of the way. FAST. Trust me on this one kids. They don’t just spit, they hack it all up for about a minute too. Its rank. Its like hwaaaaaack-ptuh. *shudders*
And if spitting grannies are not your forte then you don’t even want to hear about the men.
Everything in Hong Kong is either fast or busy. The traffic for one. There was many a time when I almost walked out into the path of a taxi who’s driver is a blatant Speed fan.
Days of death – I think I'm seeing a correlation.
Day 1 – times I almost died – 11
Day 4- 5
Day 7- 2
Day 9- 19 – that was the day I went to Crazy Town -Macau where they’r apparently “too cool” to pay any attention to zebra crossings.
Day 11 – Just the one and NO it wasn’t by a plane lol
I think the best thing about Hong Kong is the shopping. And the food. Yeah, the food actually. There are little vending stalls and machines everywhere! I MANAGED TO PUT ON ALMOST HALF A STONE!! EEEEEEEEEE! :D
Shopping was fantastic. Iv already told most of you about the bargains but I shall enlighten you of my DVD purchases.
Chicago
Finding Nemo
The Hours
Tomb Raider 2
Gangs of New York
Down with Love
Legally Blonde 2
Genuine ones - All costing roughly £3.50 each
Return of The King
Matrix Revolutions
Brother Bear
Lion King 1 ½ DVDS from China most likely pirate lol all costing … £1.75 each
I guess I'm coming to the end of my tale now so lets think of a nice conclusion.
In one sentence?
Hong Kong – Too hip to spell Pooh bear with an H.
Imagine the hilarity when I found “The Book of Poo”
LOL iv got this box and its got a picture of Pooh bear carrying a net, running after Piglet who’s being attacked by a butterfly. It looks like Pooh is chasing Piglet whilst wielding a carving knife.
Let me enlighten you. Ready kids?
It the beginning, it all began at the airport. We had a marvellous start seeing that we queued for 12 minutes in the wrong check in line which was in fact for Malta. Strangely enough, I got a D of E flashback where we went wrong from the start…
Anyway, when safely on the plane, (you can see I'm skipping the minor details as I have 12 days to cover lol) on the plane, mid flight I found myself sitting by the window listening to Red Wine by Prince. Yeah the onboard radio station was a bit backward seeing that it only played oldies and embarrassingly enough I found myself singing along to “Believe” by Cher - Cue the “do you belieeeeeve in love after love (after love after love after love)” and the shocked silence of the children in the seat behind me who coincidentally, spent most of the flight kicking the seat and flipping the table open/shut/open/shut/open ARGH!
We were sitting above the wing and when night came I had to shut the window – iv seen that scene where the man opens the aeroplane window and the monster’s outside his window… *shudder* And no it was NOT sesame street.
Arrived in HK , it was like a frozen pizza being put into an oven. And yes we looked slightly bizarre walking around the airport carrying scarves and gloves. Obviously after the SARS alerts, HK has become a lot more secure. I had to go through heat scanning, passport check, x-ray baggage thing, immigration dept and customs before I could get out of the airport.
Actually, going off slightly on a d+m thought for a minute – when I arrived back in the city, I stepped out the cab and in that one moment, I smiled to myself and thought …I'm back – and there was this sense of … security, wellbeing. I don’t know why but it just felt … good to be in a place where I don’t stick out like a sore thumb for those of you perceptive enough to know what I'm talking about.
BUT ANYWAY! Sorry to diverge from my usual manner (ie. Shouting BOOOBIES at the top of my voice) but just thought id add a bit of depth into my blog.
Hong Kong is a place full of new technology, cheap clothes, good food, not to mention pirate DVDs and fakes. I must say the fakes are quite hilarious. On my travels I came across “Oalvin Klain” knickers and “RQ Polo” – which I did buy a few of seeing that they were 10 dollars (70p) for 3 pairs. Oh the cheapness!
TV is …. Interesting. I got up one morning, switched on the TV and was watching a cartoon that featured various assorted fruit with dancing potatoes and, what was unmistakably a singing fridge. Give them hair and voila! you have “ The Boobahs go Catering”
Also the adverts are pretty much the same, but some in Chinese. They even have the “I'm LOVING IT!”. Herbal essences seem to be a big hit but its hilarious hearing and seeing the monkey that says “I think we’r using the wrong shampoo” jabber away in Chinese. There was much mirth when the adverts for a shop called “Wanko” and a music CD called “Lets Folk” came on.
HK is so technologically advanced. They have automatic paper towel dispensers that say “have a nice day” in a hundred different languages! EEEE! Lol. However, no matter how advanced they may be, the people of HK seem to worship Derren Brown and The Cheeky Girls – where the relation is, I know not but the high streets of the city are full of bright lights and happy tunes. Its teenybopper paradise! Seriously, I'm not kidding, it’s the first place where iv heard the Bring Me To Life dance remix.
On my last days we took a trip to Macau, the neighbouring island. I’v renamed it Wonderland for it is INSANE. The cars zoom around like they’r on amphetamines. The lights flash on/off at epileptic-fit speed. The taxis think they’r being hailed if you merely scratch your arm. OH the trouble I had explaining that no I didn’t need a taxi and no I didn’t want to go downtown. Such is the problem with language barriers though I'm sure that Hoskins books of foreign swear words would have come in handy.
In Macau we went to a casino and I WON 40 DOLLARS ON THE SLOTS! …. Then I lost it all. Darn. Heres a tip. Once the machine pays out big money, go and find a new one! It was on my first go so I was like, hey I’ll just have another go… and another.. and another.. etc
It’s extreme in Macau. There are so many people. The businessmen who flip out their cool cellular phones whilst running to catch a bus just to prove they are capable commuters. The tourists who take a picture of EVERYTHING about three thousand times. The old people …. *shudder*
Life Lesson - DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE GRANNIES OF HONG KONG! They come across as small and frail but nooooo , it’s a completely different story. They’ll curse and hit you with their stick (which any hardcore granny will carry), before pushing you out of the way. AND, if you’v come across a real traditionalist, she’ll spit on the street. If this event- Get out of the way. FAST. Trust me on this one kids. They don’t just spit, they hack it all up for about a minute too. Its rank. Its like hwaaaaaack-ptuh. *shudders*
And if spitting grannies are not your forte then you don’t even want to hear about the men.
Everything in Hong Kong is either fast or busy. The traffic for one. There was many a time when I almost walked out into the path of a taxi who’s driver is a blatant Speed fan.
Days of death – I think I'm seeing a correlation.
Day 1 – times I almost died – 11
Day 4- 5
Day 7- 2
Day 9- 19 – that was the day I went to Crazy Town -Macau where they’r apparently “too cool” to pay any attention to zebra crossings.
Day 11 – Just the one and NO it wasn’t by a plane lol
I think the best thing about Hong Kong is the shopping. And the food. Yeah, the food actually. There are little vending stalls and machines everywhere! I MANAGED TO PUT ON ALMOST HALF A STONE!! EEEEEEEEEE! :D
Shopping was fantastic. Iv already told most of you about the bargains but I shall enlighten you of my DVD purchases.
Chicago
Finding Nemo
The Hours
Tomb Raider 2
Gangs of New York
Down with Love
Legally Blonde 2
Genuine ones - All costing roughly £3.50 each
Return of The King
Matrix Revolutions
Brother Bear
Lion King 1 ½ DVDS from China most likely pirate lol all costing … £1.75 each
I guess I'm coming to the end of my tale now so lets think of a nice conclusion.
In one sentence?
Hong Kong – Too hip to spell Pooh bear with an H.
Imagine the hilarity when I found “The Book of Poo”
LOL iv got this box and its got a picture of Pooh bear carrying a net, running after Piglet who’s being attacked by a butterfly. It looks like Pooh is chasing Piglet whilst wielding a carving knife.
