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Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Ok, its been a while since anyone posted up any shorts and seeing that our post mock situation, post snow day situation has left some of us tres bored i have decided to post up my own just for good measure.
I know it does not even begin to compare to the three greats (one should be a greatette may i add) but hey, hae a read, possibly a weep lol and comments would be much appreciated.
Here goes:
MOONBEAM

“Look at me Kevin! Look at me!”
“I'm looking!”
“Look at me!”

I turned around smiling, what was she doing now? Rosie sat proudly in the saddle her little legs swinging wildly around. I laughed. My little sister sat in our old, brown saddle balanced on not a pony, but a large stool.
“Look Kevin! I'm riding!”
I laughed again. “Not without a helmet, you’re not.” I plonked an old riding hat on her head. Rosie beamed.
“Why can’t I ride a real pony yet?” she pouted
“Because you’re not big enough yet!” I pouted back
Rosie sighed. “That’s so unfair” she said miserably
I looked at her, if I didn’t play my cards right, this would result in tears.
Too late.
Walking over to her calmly I said “Rosie, remember what Mom always tells you?”
Rosie nodded as she wiped her eyes and smiled.
“No more tears” she replied. “Life’s too short”

My little sister Rosie loves horses. We have this fight. Every Saturday I take her down to the stables to see the horses and she loves it. She’s only 7. I know there’s a big age gap between us, 12 years in fact but I'm glad of it I guess as I'm at the age where I can see my sister as cute and adorable rather than adolescent and temperamental like Kristen my other little sister. We live in a beautiful ranch in Carson City, Nevada. We’re happy, we’ve got practically all we could ever need, all we could ever want. It’s just me, Kristen, Rosie and our folks. Krist is only two years younger than me and has only just grown out of that moody teen stage. Sheesh, all I'm saying is I'm glad I survived. Jesus Christ, every day it was like Kevin, this, Kevin that or “Kevin, get out of my face!” (complete with hand movements à la Clueless) Heh, I'm glad I’ll be out of the house by the time Rosie gets to that age. Well actually, now thinking about it… she wont get to that age. Not anymore.

All is not well with Rosie. When she was a bit younger she had a meningitis scare though luckily it was detected in the early stages and could be treated. That was a year ago. We thought we were rid of it. However two days ago, after many tests and assessments, Rosie was “officially” diagnosed with meningococcal meningitis again.
“Meningococcal meningitis,” said the doctor, “usually responds to treatment with penicillin if diagnosed early enough though … though”
“Though what?!”
I said anxiously
The doctor cleared his throat, I could tell by the look on his face what he was going to say. It was his eyes, now devoid of all professionalism that said everything.
“Few are saved, despite treatment with appropriate drugs.”
“How long …. How long do we have?” my father asked
“ If the operation is successful then 11 months, if not then…. 11 weeks”

That’s when I knew my little sister was going to die.

That day in the doctors surgery… I will never forget the shock I saw on my father’s face, or the way that my mother burst into tears. I’ll never forget how Kristen grabbed my arm in alarm or the way that the doctor hung his head. No, these things stay with you. As for my reaction? That’s the most memorable. I’ll never forget the way it feels when your body turns to ice and your heart turns to lead. Never.

The journey back home was tense. Dad, who never cries, never shows emotion, was driving the car, a single tear running slowly down his face. I sat next to him up front and Mom was in the back spending every last minute she had with her daughter. No one said a word. No one spoke. The car was still. Surprisingly Rosie broke the silence.
“Mommy?” she asked quietly “Am I going to become an angel?”
I turned around to look at her. Rosie sat there serenely with a sincere look on her face, the sunlight shining through her hair. I smiled through my sadness. She was the bravest little sister in the world. And you know what else? She was mine. And for that I was proud.

I'm in my second year at Yale Medical. With one of the highest GPA’s in my year I'm not doing too badly at the moment. I love it there, though at this moment I time, I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to leave my sister. But come January I flew back to Connecticut all the same. I spent my last week in Nevada walking in the mall creating a memory of life as it was – perfect. I was walking home one day when I passed a small card shop. In the window was a poster of this magnificent white horse. It wasn’t exactly white, kind of shimmered like a pearl. It looked like the ponies at the stable. Rosie would like that. But what struck me was that it was just a small pony, though it seemed more glorious than all the other pictures around it. In a way it reminded me of Rosie so I bought it for her as my parting gift.
I helped her put it up on her wall and we sat for a while just looking at it.
“I'm gonna call it a real pretty name,” she said happily
“Like what?” I asked her
She thought for a while, chewing her lip and frowning slightly as she thought.
“Moonbeam”
I smiled wistfully “Ok kiddo”


The next days flew past quickly like leaves being lifted by the autumn winds. Come the day of my departure I went up to Rosies room. She was sitting in bed with her pink Barbie bathrobe wrapped around her.
“Look Rosie, I’ve gotta go back now so I wont see you for a while.” I began “I know you’ve got your big operation next month but..” I slowed down, ”… its gonna be ok…. you’re gonna be...” I stopped, the words just wouldn’t come out. This was probably going to be the last time that I saw my sister alive and well. A tear rolled down my cheek.
But then the most remarkable thing happened. Rosie smiled.
“I'm going to be just fine”
I looked up. She saw the sadness in my eyes. And for a moment it felt like she could sense my pain. She smiled up at me. “You want to know how I know?” she whispered knowingly.
I looked at her and slowly nodded.
“Moonbeam said so”

I looked at the poster above her head. It must have been a trick of the light but the way the colours shimmered almost made the poster look like it was moving.
Rosie continued, “Moonbeam says that if I don’t get better, he’ll come with me” she yawned.
“I don’t understand Rosie. He said that?” I asked her gently.
“Mmhmm” Rosie sighed closing her eyes and sinking under the covers, “He’ll be there…” she yawned again, “ with me”
“But where are you going?” I asked again, leaning closer to catch her reply
She said no more. She had fallen asleep. I smiled to myself and left the room gently closing the door behind me.

Time passed. I was in the fraternity house one evening when I received a call from Mom. I ran to the phone and picked it up urgently. She must have news about Rosies operation.
Putting the receiver to my ear I could hear her sobbing down the phone. My heart sank.
“What is it?” I said with dread.
Mom struggled to get the words out “The operation failed, it gave us about 2 weeks more… we only have 3 months left..”
The words hit me like a bullet to the chest. I dropped the receiver.

I was scheduled to return back to the City the week after but I fell ill with food poisoning and was declared unfit to fly. Heh, mom always warned me to be careful with the frat food. Anyway, it took me a while to get back on my feet but I rang home once a week to check up on them. I wish it could have been everyday but phone calls from Connecticut to Nevada don’t come cheap.
It was about 3 weeks after id fallen ill. I was a lot better, in fact I had a flight to the City that weekend. Then I got the phone call. That same feeling of dread filled me. It was Wednesday. Mom never called mid-week, in case it broke my “study cycle.” I picked up the phone. My heart thudded in my chest.
It was Dad. He spoke clearly and simply.
“Kevin, Rosie’s taken a turn for the worse.”
“Wha? I.. what? No.. oh…no this… this..” Words failed me
“Come home son”
“Dad, I don’t understand, they said we had 3 months, its only been about one, iv got a flight this weekend but…” The words gushed out of me in my shock
Dad spoke again amidst my confusion, but my heart was racing so loud I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. Something about technicalities. I just caught the last of his words before his voice started to shake.
“She won’t be with us this weekend”
And that’s when it happened again. For the second time in my life, that’s when I felt it. The feeling when your body turns to ice and your heart turns to lead.
I got a flight back the very same day and arrived back in Carson City the next evening.

Dad and Kristen picked me up from the airport. As I walked towards them I noticed how much they had changed. They weren’t the same people I left behind. They used to be cheerful and spirited but now they were solemn and grave. I reached them. There was no movement. No words. There was a pregnant pause. It was all too formal. Then suddenly Kristen burst into tears and hugged me whilst Dad placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed.
I was unable to speak. My mouth was suddenly dry. But I managed to whisper.
“Its good to be back”
Dad nodded and opened his mouth. But what came out was completely different to his normal bellowing roar. He spoke in a thin and weary voice, but the meaning was clear.
“Let’s go home son”

As the station wagon pulled up into our drive I noticed how much the house had changed. The door was opened by Mom. She ran into my arms and I held onto her before she broke down in tears. Looking into her eyes I said gently.
“Where is she?”
Mom sniffed as she led me inside. She said in a soft voice.
“The doctor was surprised she’s still with us. But she’s been waiting for you to get back.”
She gave me a gentle push up the stairs and I walked onto the landing. I looked at Rosie’s door in front of me, covered with pony posters and stickers. My head swam with tears but I brushed them aside and opened the door.

Rosie lay in bed, her eyes closed. I pulled up a chair next to her. God it was good to see her again. Rosie stirred and coughed. She muttered something quietly.
“Ssssh, its alright Ro, I'm here. I'm gonna stay right here” I said reassuringly, stroking her forehead. Rosies eyes flickered open slowly. Her big brown eyes stared into mine, almost as if trying to recognise my face.
“K..Kevin?” She said weakly
“Hey kid” I smiled bleakly.
Rosie smiled faintly.
“I knew you’d come”
“That’s right” I replied,” And I'm gonna stay right here too”
Rosie looked into my eyes. She knew my sadness. It was almost as if she knew how I felt. But then again we’ve always had that bond. But then she said something else
“I know why you’re here” she said calmly
I couldn’t say anything. I was numb. I just held her hand in response.
“And I want you to know” she continued, “You don’t have to worry about me”
I was silent for a minute. She sensed my confusion.
“Kevin?” She whispered secretively
“Mmm?”
“Remember that secret I told you last time?”
she asked “About Moonbeam?”
I smiled. “Yeah”
She smiled in relief and feebly prodded my nose “He’s gonna teach me to ride too”
I laughed quietly and nodded.
Rosie was insistent “So don’t worry about me. I’ll be alright. Ok?”
I nodded again. “Ok”
“Promise?”
“I promise”

Rosie looked into my eyes again. She knew that I didn’t really mean it. How was I not meant to worry?
“I promise” I repeated firmly.
“Ok then” Rosie beamed. She sank back into the covers with a happy sigh. I held onto her hand desperately trying to hold back the tears that were fighting to get free.
“Oh, and one more thing.” Rosie whispered, her voice getting quieter.
I leaned in to listen as her voice was getting weaker
“No more ..tears... life’s t.. “ Rosie yawned and started again “..too…short” her voice faded, her eyes closed and her head started to droop.
“Rosie?” I said quietly. “Rosie?”
I felt her delicate hand squeeze mine and then … nothing. That was it.

I sat there for a minute saying a prayer. The room was silent. Slowly I straightened up and brushed away my tears. Rosie lay peacefully, with a smile on her innocent face. I looked around the room, preserving the moment. My last memory of my sister. As my eyes swept across the room they came to rest on the poster above her bed. Wait a minute. I closed my eyes briefly. Surely this wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be. Could it? I looked again and my heart skipped a beat.
Moonbeam was gone. Completely. All that was left was a background of an endless skyline.
Another solitary tear trickled down my cheek. Softly kissing her pale forehead, I leaned towards her and whispered gently.
“Don’t forget to wear your helmet”




# posted by Unknown @ 2/03/2004 07:56:00 pm
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