My Not So Interesting Life

It seems my infamous "P" word appears in every single lesson.
It came up today whilst talking about a bottle of cleaning detergent - Cif or whatver.
APparently the bottle was phallic - which led to Sarah muttering "Whats a phallus?"

And that's where i came in.
Lol - still remembering Milzani's drawing, well "drawing" of a ermm, to do a play by play for you all
*blank pause*
"Girls its a ... PENIS"
(could have almost done jazz hands with that - thats how she said it)

JAZZ HANDS
or SPIRIT fingers as they are more commonly known....

No, i have no point, i just thought id mention it..

ANYWAY
An interesting event that happened today.
A huuuuuuuge slanging match. A war of words. A battle of brains and blows..

A BITCH FIGHT basically.

Between the two most volatile substances known to man. Two angry women.

IN THE RED CORNER we have, standing at 5 feet and 11 inches, weighing in at a delicate 140 pounds, they call her the BLONDE LIGHTBULB AMONGST THE DIMWITS, the most reasonable talker in the East of England, Politics student and general funny girl - MISS HANNAH TAYLOR

AND IN THE BLUE CORNER weighin in at a not so delicate 700 pounds and standing at a not so giant height of 4"2 we have the "snake in the grass", the woman who's mood changes quicker than Michale Flatley's riverdance times TWO, its the one you watch out for, the one who gives us notices late, ironically the only one who actually loves me (COS IM A GOOD GIRL!). The most lenghty talker in the East, teacher and general wank its Mrs LITTLEMORRRRRE, known to her beloved fans as Mrs (not so).

*CONTINUED*

Okay, here's the situation. Basically, there was a misunderstanding and Littlemore thought Hannah said something that she didnt, so she shows her dissaproval to the other members of the class. Members of the class turn out to be Hannahs closest friends. Bad move for the L-more.

ANyways, highly upset and distraught b ythis situation, our dear Machete comes to find L-more at lunch. (Not hard seeing that she's the form tutor..)

*ROUND ONE (in my own words)*
DING!

Machet: I hear you have a problem with me
*CUE the whole of 12L to silence - quite obviously*
L-More- *sigh* Im not in the mood for a court case Hannah.
Machet "I am offended that you have been saying stuff behind my back. If you have a problem you should be voicing it to me."
L-More- *sigh* Lets not have the dramatics. Lets take this outside.
(Katie comes as a witness)

*CUE the whole of 12L to slowly inch towards the door*

Machet- "I am offended by the fact that you not only talked about me behind my back, but you spoke to my friends and fellow students."
L-More - "something incoherent "
*cue 12L to stand ears to the wall*
Then we leave the form room into the ring because we are simply "getting things from our lockers Mrs Littlemore!.."

And THATS when the hard hits are made.

Machet - "If you have a problem you should talk to me or a teacher."
L-More - *flailing* *insert some sarcastic remark about maturity*
Machet- *cuts in* Not to my fellow students who arent involved.
L-More still unable to find a reply <..2.. going, going>
Machet- *for the final hit* "I'm sorry but i find that highly unprofessional"
*the whole corridor flinches*
AND L-More has been FLOORED!

DING DING DING! We have a winner! However L-More gets points for the high *sigh* content. Riveting stuff.

Wow high quality drama with an equally high quality transcript there...
Meh.
This has been me, the commentator, ringside from the AHS sixthform corridor. We've had cat fights and harsh blows, but never before have I seen such a show of words from true pro's. Two highly intellectual people against each other make good fights! Join us next time for when Hannah V Littlemore - Parent Phonecall.....

Ps ( after that 12L continued to watch Ferngully - one of the best fairy/environment films EVER - hooray hooray do the happy dance...)
Ahem.