My Not So Interesting Life

Okay, so much for the end of my blogging hiatus.
I’ve gone from like 4 times a week to once a month. Surely that’s a sign I’m getting out more?! (Optimistically speaking)
October has been an interesting month to say the least. Humiliations occurred weekly.
A few which I’ve had enough time to get over now so shall indulge you with

• The Skirt Incident
• The Map Incident
• The Assembly Incident

Yes, it looks like a long blog today then boys and girls....

First of all, may i just mention that, yes, ALL i have been doing at community involvement is sharpening pencils - but it does beat last week where we were gardening and it was like "Zoe, do you like worms? *dangles in face*.. *inaudible mutter* etc")

Okay, let's start with the most recent. Anti-chronological order. (There has to be a term for that..? Do enlighten me)
Anyway, if you've been in assembly recently like good little boys and girls. Well actually, just girls, because, well I don't really have to explain that. But yes, if you've been in assembly, you'll have seen The Cabinet's presentation on Growth. And of course, our very own interpretations were as follows:

Sinead = Legally Blonde.
Laurie = Jamie Oliver
Robee = Robbie Williams
Amber= McFly

And me?
Zoe = Dwarf actors

First time round? First time lucky. Second time round? Ergh.
The line is "It's no wonder he's known as the hardest working man in showbiz"
Zoe says: "*smiles* Its no wonder he's known as the hardest man in .. *choke* hardest WORKING man in .. in.."
Cue laughter
Cue mass hysteria
Cue Mr Rosen sitting in the middle of my gaze.

Bollocks.

Numero dos. The Map.
Okay, we all know Current Issues is a drag. We all know that being bored can lead us to many a strange activity. THUS..
Well.. we drew this map for Davey. Because he had to meet me in N5 at lunch (important head boy/girl thing heyy)
So WE and I stress WE (sorry Charlot, bringing you down with me for PROVIDING the crayo- I mean colouring materials.) We drew this map. And what a GREAT map it was.

"The Map (Of Dooom!)" as christened by me was released unto the world (Dave's pocket) complete with "Ye Olde Zebra Crossing, where ye Zebras used to cross" and "The Tree of Life", "Elephants Graveyard" - dont forget "Mordor" and "The Bridge of Kazuk-Doom"
Oh we ARE witty..
Embarassing? Not yet. We gave the map to Dave, knowing he would appreciate our style of humour. However! Little did we know he would end up showing the Head Boy and a following large crew of year 13's. Champton said, "Yeah, I saw that map. He didn't need tosay who drew it, I was like .. Zoe did this didn't she?"
I am going to kill Whiffin. Tom Duffy must think I'm an even BIGGER loser now lol. (Plus I drew the three of them getting lost - truly skillful it was!)

However, despite all the drama, they managed to find the room SO quickly (with the aid of my map i bet), they actually beat me there...
Okay, okay, I WAS late - BUT THE QUEUE IN THE CANTEEN TOOK YEARS. Again, it was embarassing as i turned up holding a donut between my lips and the excuse, "Sorry, I was being a pie". HMMM. Who says first ... second.. impressions are the most important?

ANd finally, the last one. La piece de resistance.
The Skirt.

Right. This did actually happen like 4 weeks ago but I feel it's only now, that I'm ready to share the shame with the online world. (By that I mean all 30 or so of you readers).
In the fair bus park where we lay our scene... Two starcrossed ex-lovers take their life.
Well, at least one wishes she could.

Lol random Romeo and Juliet revivals aside. I was finally talking to Fertrank in the bus park one glorious Friday afternoon. Admittedly it wasn't to be the easiest of situations having broken up a week or so before. (At this point I'd love to roll my eyes and say "*sigh* You know how it IS with relationships!" but I'll save that for another time)

So now you know the context and the characters. What about the plotline? I hear you ask. With glee.

Ha. Well, I was wearing my red skirt which I've worn a countless number of times before. You'll have seen it, but probably not since then.. No problems so far right?
As I said it was a glorious day. The sun was in the sky, there were no rainclouds in sight and the passing buses roared past, whipping the first of the autumn leaves into the air. I'm standing down the bottom of BayB with Fertrank, Kinks and Scanlers before the sudden arrival of this... this ..FREAK GUST OF WIND which swooshes down from nowhere!!

You can guess what's taken with it. Okay okay, it didn't come RIGHT off but...

Zoe's skirt is blown up in the air. And I'm not even talking about, gently lifted. I'm talking Marilyn Monroe - but with "look, no hands!"

Oh...My...God.

There is no way that anyone in a 10 m radius will not have seen that. So what about those actually standing with me? Ground. Me. Swallow. PLEASE!

Later, having run away hysterically screaming "NOOOOOOO!" (Actually, I lie, i had to wait a bit longer for the bus to turn up), I texted Fertrank with: "Here's th deal. We r never tlking about this ever again. Ever."
He replied. "Sure thing... Hey Zoe, do u remember th time that ur skirt blew up nd hit me in th face? I do."

Great.

Right, til next time then!

xXXx

PS...
UCAS sent me an email the other day.

"My Personal Statement Ruined My Life" – Prevention Strategies

Errr... a BIT late perhaps?

Bastards.