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Wednesday, July 19, 2006
THAILAND
READ MORE HERE - With PICTURES!
To put it straight, Thailand was amazing. Basically we went on a tour and it was dead cheap – working out about £150 for 4 nights – all inclusive.
Episode 3 – Another Transgender Story
After arriving in Bangkok, the first thing we were taken to see were what I now call “ladyboys”
Basically, Thailand has a strong history of transsexuals (both post and pre-op) therefore has somehow developed them into their national identity by staging cabaret shows in Bangkok – displaying these … specimens.
Excuse the dodgy quality, but these were hurriedly taken
This is a man.
So is this.
Oh – and I just HAD to take a picture of the funniest dancers I had seen so far. I don’t know why, but one of them just really reminded me of Spangus.
Episode 4 – Zoe VS The Elephant
We went on an elephant ride – it was wicked. Though I’m amazed at how elephants can be driven – I can barely understand driving a car.
It was great – and we were very happy
And then this happened.
My first reaction?
“IT SNEEZED ON US! I HAVE ELEPHANT SNOT ON MY FACE”
“I HAVE IT IN MY MOUTH”
Then we realised that it was just water and we were not going to die of any diseases that may or may not have been carried in Elephant mucus.
Episode 5 – Good guys go to heaven, bad guys go to PATTAYA
Pattaya is like the red light district of Thailand. Sounds like a cliché, but I saw so many sailors with their weekend toys if you get what I mean?
And it was really rank to see old white men walking around with a young Thai girl, though it was pretty amusing when you saw that they couldn’t really think of anything to say to each other. The man would just sit there trying to relax and the girl (if it was in fact, a girl), would be sitting there looking incredibly bored.
The roads in Pattaya are just like the traffic in India.
And the Wong family decided to try and cross one.
It was chaos – with cars coming at stupidly fast speeds, including bikes and trucks, it was very hard to find the right moment to madly dash across the road.
How hard? Well…
Imagine a group of new year 7’s trying to cross Turnfurlong at rush hour. Blind ones.
One of the year 7s says – I‘m the oldest, I’ll take us across
One replies – We should keep walking and try to find a crossing
The last cries –We’re going to DIE.
(you can see which metaphorical Year7 represented each member of my family, I’m sure)
In the end, we followed some locals.
AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE.
Episode 6 – A further note about cars
Everything is so colourful.
The taxis are HOT PINK.
No joke.
Only in Thailand…
We were sad to say goodbye. Had we not been accosted by a several groups of people asking us if we’d like to “see a special show” – every single waking moment of the day.
But before we left, we went to a theme park and GUESS WHO I MET!
Yes – they have the Cheetah from Cheetos (Wotsits rip-off) in THAILAND.
Episode 7- Ugly Versus Beautiful
The children are so cute. Seriously, there are so many little chinese kids that are fucking adorable – I have decided, I’m going to find myself a fit future husband and we’ll make lots of cute Chinese kids. It’ll be ace.
Haha WANTED: A fit future husband to create a super breed of uber-adorable babies?
However, as ever, with the cute, comes the not so cute. It’s unbelievable how many people in the east think that by swamping themselves in designer labels, they’ll suddenly be AMAZING. You get some intensely rude and disrespectful people – but I suppose in the end, you get what you give, as I realised when coming across seriously rude people with a seriously unfortunate faces.
