My Not So Interesting Life

Just reading the previous blog. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
Number of times I've said "Hahaha" = 12

I saw this paragraph and I thought ... what the fuck?

....Then this really stupid crow started cawing in the middle of it. Which made me laugh. Then I got the giggles because there was this really stupid sounding bird. And I was thinking – what a stupid sounding bird.
How retarded.

Seeing the effect of a manic party. Priceless indeed...

Anyways, apologies - I've decided to move from pointless blog to EVEN MORE pointless topic.
THat's right.

I'm dedicating my new blog to the new wonder of....

Chris Kelly's Hair.




Lol, gone is the girly long hair! HELLO to new blondified CK!
He looks a bit Nordic really... Yes.
I say well done.




Today is the day you become a real man :)




Okay. Random topic over

I'm not in the mood to blog properly. I'm missing out on some wicked gigs tonight. I can't wait til I can drive.
(though I'm sure the rest of you can.) Talking of driving. If someone can lend me any HAZARD PERCEPTION PRACTICE / THEORY PRACTICE material - let me know. I may fail my practical but at least I'll have SOMETHING.

Instead I'll just leave the easy way with a random Nomics quote. Or two.

Setting: About a week ago

"Okay, something happened during the Victorian era - what were the Victorians famous for?"
*long pause*
".. err.. Queen Victoria?"
Turns out the answer was "The Industrial Revolution"

And then, only today.
"Okay, what technological inventions peaked and developed in around the 1800s?"
Esther- "CARS"

Okay, it turns out our knowledge of the 19th century aren't that good at all....

Plus - Mr SKinner told us today that statistically, out of three units, UNIT 5 was the hardest to pass if taken in January as it was a synoptic unit, therefore used information from the other two.

We then asked him which unit we had just done this January...

..You guessed it.

Hahah oh my d--s!
It's been a GOOD past few days.
Good as in .. FUN good, but good god - i'm glad to be home.

Hahaha i think the alcohol is still in my system, having got back earlier today but WHY AM I GOING BACKWARDS?

Chronological. You know it makes me happy.

THURSDAY - Rafi + MM's.
STRIP CLUB.
Hahaha there were sooo many people there. My personal highlights?

• Prattman poledancing.
• Champton poledancing.
• WillCass poledancing.

I think you get the picture.

No? HAVE NO FEAR dear reader. I have some pictures anyway! Orange Locker methinks...

Went on til past 2AM. Just have to mention. Goldie is my saviour. He will know why. Hahah.
Got a taxi back eventually and crashed round Stophigs.
Hahaha Porrit was there and i was like. Ergh coupley couple!
Luckily I didn't have to be in the same room....

Well, then? Then we were all REALLY HUNGRY.
Okay it was ME who was hungry.
So we hunted in the fridge for some food - came up with salami, pate and french bread. (Stophs family had just come back from La France herself)

OOOOH
I had just got, and went into the downstairs toilet to check the damage in the mirror.
Suddenly, a hand pressed up against the window outside.

I screamed.

Then i remembered.
Stoph had an extension and the "outside" window was actually on the other side of the "larder"

" .."

So i went outside and hit her with the Chorizo. That showed her.

Right. Hahah Got to bed about 4-ish. This was after copious amounts of rolling on the floor and complaining about trampled feet. Sorry to Stophigs cat.

WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY BRIGHT AND REFRESHED. At 11Am. Stoph's cat was on my bed. By my face.

*Zoe turns around and comes face to face with the cat*

More screaming.

Twat.

Then we watched SpiceWorld.
And Shrek2...

ANd we finally got out of the house at noon to go shopping. (I had a carrot juice for some BIZARRE reason. It was alright for the first few minutes. Then it was rank.)

Meh fast forward

Got to Moz's. Obviously, i had twice as much stuff as I'd stayed at Stophs the night before. I maintain that "ZOE, have you packed your whole house or what?" was way exaggerating.

INDIAN. HOUSE OF SPICE. YES MATE.
Hahahahah oh dear, got off to a flying start having greeted the waiter with "Hello sir"

And the room had just gone quiet too. Man, i ahte that when that happens...
He told Tash, that was his name too so we called him Tash for the rest of the evening... only to find out his name was actually Taj. Oops.

Discovery of the day - the "weights" weren't stones at all. After passing them round, feeling and guessing - they were in fact, *place your bets now ladies and gents* potatoes. Poh-tay-toes.
I know my potatoes from my stones. I won the bet.

And got to keep the potato.
Walking back to Moz's after singing "Happy Birthday" three times in the restaurant, got a phone call from EmoGay. Apologies - I used my newly acquired potato as a missile when Porrit stole my mobile mid convo. He had to catch it before it hit a car. Sorry.

Later, I threw it in the air and .... well... Dave, now rolling on the floor, said : "Oi..that was a sac-shot"

Much mirth.

Hahahah then Stophigs shirt came undone. Bill took pictures. Moz's face was stuck in a dodgy position. Charlotte took pictures.

I ate birthdya cake.

Made cocktails - I found a new proffession to bg good at everyone!
I'ma gonna be a bartender-ress

Hahahah.
Then we sat in the kitchen drinking. I carved my name in the potatoes. Though, I maintain i wrote "Zoe's tater" …. Then we did Lord Of The Rings impressions.

Okay, that was just me. The rest of them sat there looking bemused.

Then, some DRAMA.
Let's not talk about that.
Ended up locked in a toilet with Stoph and Charlotte. Both who were drunk. And I maintain that Stoph's skirt went in the toilet. Carhlotte decided to spray air freshener everywhere.
We decided to get out before we endured "Pine fresh" asphyxiation.

FAST FORWARD

3AM. Most people are randomly in sleeping bags in places. Dave has successfully managed to move from downstairs, to upstairs, back downstairs – in a bid to find somewhere to sleep. I don't think Charlotte kicking him out of his bed helped. She's like that sometimes.

TIME TO SLEEP – we have to get out of the house before 10 tomoro

4AM.
*BANG*
"Fuck… Stupid camper bed by.. stupid head.. who puts the stupid oww *mutter mutter*"

Hahahha. Mm. Gutted.

Zoë, now woken up, remembers she has not brushed her teeth. I have to do that otherwise my orthdentist will get me.
Trudges to the bathroom.
Turns on the light.
*screams* (there's lots of that recently!)

Stophig is already sitting in the bathroom.

Hahahaa, they have a chat and eat a plate of birthday cake. I'd actually lost that sometime between 1AM and 2AM. That's where it was. What good timing.

Trudge out of bathroom and goes to sleep.

SOME TIME LATER
*birdsong*
General stirring.
I woke up.
The window was open. It was freezing and my sleeping bag was filled with random blades of grass – and sequins. I sighed from my uncomfortable position half on the floor, half under the camper bed. It was D of E all over again.

Can't sleep due to loud birds outside window
"Fucking Nature"
Then this really stupid crow started cawing in the middle of it. Which made me laugh. Then I got the giggles because there was this really stupid sounding bird. And I was thinking – what a stupid sounding bird. How retarded.

Then I started laughing because of it. And then I considered the situation – and started laughing at me laughing at … oh dear oh dear.

Alarm rang at 7AM. Moz is the Hostess with the mostess. Without a doubt. Gay.
And thus started the wake up + shower + tea + coffee system.

Hit half 8 and there's a group of about 10 very tired people in the lounge. And some of us had already had a kick at the large blue slug on the landing (Stophig and Porrit yuck)
Hahhahaha

Breakfast at Moz's is great. I ate more birthday cake.
Moz's mum said I could take it home.
Haha, I love her family.

*Yawn* Hahaha I'm seriously just typing randomly now – after being picked up form Moz's my father took me straight to town cos the banks shut at mid-day etc etc.
Strangely enough I had all these gift vouchers in my bag.

So I went and spent them. Fatigue? What fatigue? No, SHOPPING! I'm AWAKE!

And y'know how it doesn't hit you til later?

Yeah. I think it's hit e now. Now that I've got home. My typing is completely off. I haven't formed a lot of full setneces. I should really go to bed. Instead of randomly writing things in bold or italics. Or bold AND italics. Si. Presente.

Actually – we're going to go and watch "The Wedding Date" now. I don't know why.

Hahahha okay xXXXXXXXXXxx

Wow it HAS been an eventful past five days.

Okay chronological order? Yeah, tha'll do.


Wednesday - Had the Deloitte Final Assessment Day, the last round of the application process for the gap year scheme that I'm interested in. Everyone asks, so i'll explain it in brief.

• Half gap year paid employment
• Money to fund the other half of the year
• Academic grants each year
• Summer work

Pretty sweet huh? I mean, I met this one guy who was earning £20k (pro rata), he'd already been on an all expenses paid trip to Paris with Deloitte, and had worked with banks such as Abbey National etc
Having been there only 4 months, he's only 18.

DING DING!

The day itself was wicked - FREE LUNCH - plus met some really wicked people. I have various stories to do with modern design hiding all the necessities in a ladies bathroom as well as singing in my head in an interview but those are irrelevant anecdotes that I will bother you with when you ask me. lol.



Thursday - After my only lesson in the morning, I was in a computer room "doing work"- to the disgruntlement of the IT teacher who's lesson I disturbed. My phone started ringing. This was the anticipated call to be receieved from Deloitte. The teacher stopped talking and glared (as well as Mr Olushola can at a winging phone ;p ).
I had to answer it...

Minutes later, after many attempts at trying to log off the PC, I run into the common room.
"You got it?"
"I fucking got it!"
*General EEEE-ing all round*
Ambray bought me celebratory Smarties and then subsequently told everyone we met.

Then, literally, with 10 minutes to compose myself, I headed off to interview some people for the Deputy Head Teacher position that was now open due to the appointment of Rosen as Head. Haha, get that, less than 24 hours ago I was in the other chair and now? Now WHO has the clipboard and pen?

THough, my notes were dubious. One scribbled conversation between me and Rosie.
"Look at tie. Gay?"
Candidate then mentions Kevin Spacey being cute.
"Blatantly"
Candidate mentions that he goes to the gym to stay trim.
"Blatantly" is underlined.
Candidate mentions their wife.
"Okay, maybe not?"
Candidate then mentions the fact that he is an Aquarius.
The underlined "Blatantly" is then circled and drawn with large arrows pointing at it.

Professional interviewers, we are not. Immature ones. Perhaps?



Friday - Champers Party
HAHAH! Good evening indeed. Many thanks for the celebratory drinks heading my way. However, the mixing of spirits and beer probably wasn't the smartest thing...

Danielle was driving me there - we piled into her car and realised that the reason that we couldn't see anything was because there was a layer of frost on her windscreen. And we had no scraper.
We went outside to try and scratch it off.
No luck.
Hmm, we thought. What can we use? Nails don't work... erm.. any cards about? Nope... *Zoe rummages in bag* and what did she have?

A pack of Strepsils.

Now, you may laugh at the idea of a row of cough sweets in their packaging being used to scrape off frost. However, they were so effective that Danielle kept them for the next time!


Hmm, what else? Charlot threw up three times that night. Lucky she was out of my car by then! Oh, one more thing. WILL CASS IS A PERVE + PAEDOPHILE.

Yes my friends, it may not surprise you of Boner Boy's penchant for the young and defenceless. However, not only did he go for a Year 12 on Friday. He also had a go with a Year 11.
Both to not much success may I add. (okay Will, now we're a little bit more even)

Ooooh, and then I had the joy of pretending to be sober to my father, which was SURPRISINGLY well taken. My my, I am a very clever drunk! Having drunk a pint and another half, 2 SC's and Cokes plus various sips from WKDS, Bacardi's and other such - I was very surprised at my ability to control myself.



Wow, this HAS been a long blog - I'm almost done!



Saturday- Got up at 8AM to go out. Surprised at significant lack of hangover. (Haha remember the time I woke to find a hemorrhage in my eye?!) Anyway, got home much later to find joyous news on UCAS.
Many of you will know now, the rumours are true. Some crazy cat at LSE has decided to give me an offer! (More EEEE-ing)

I personally, though that since I couldn't even get an interview at Oxford, this offer judged purely on a piece of paper was INSANE. But hey, I suppose even the admissions tutors get a bit drunk sometimes...

Haha unfortunately it requires me to have an A grade in Maths. I have til May to decide whether this feat of impossibility is in fact, possible. But until then. BIG HEP! Let's CELEBRATE!


Like I said, since having had no mad effects from the party on friday, I'll be testing my limits further at MM + Rafi's on Thurs. FUND RESEARCH. BUY ME A DRINK!

Heee we're going to a strip club...

Thanks so much for all the congratulations, messages and food/drink (oh you know me so well) - I know that there's been loads of interviews over the past few weeks - good luck with those.

LOVE LOVE
xXXXx