My Not So Interesting Life

We got our first Xmas card today...

It’s official.
Christmas is here.

Also, it's official - someone's a bit too quick off the mark. It's not even the end of bloody November yet.

Part of me is thinking YAY CHRISTMAS! YIPPEE!
Part of me is slightly shocked that Christmas is little more than four weeks away...

The shops are playing Christmas songs. The display in thecentre:mk has arrived, every year more and more commercial – it’s not about the rides, the fake snow and the primitive animatronics any more – it’s about how much money you can make out of it. I don’t know if I’ve just suddenly realised that only because I’ve grown up significantly since the last time I rode a train in Middleton Hall. Honest.. Meh.

Christmas brings along some of my favourite things. Okay bar the obvious. Yes my pretties, I’m talking about THAT Coca-Cola advert. *tear* And of course, it brings some of my least favourite things. Yes. The turkeys. Hmm, I wonder why “turkeys” isn’t spelt “turkies”? Unless it is and I’m being really retarded. It’s not is it?!
*shudder*
Turkeys… ngleh

Man, I’m slightly looking forward to start my christmas cards this year – only very slightly. Obviously not as much as the person above but it's just I’ve got so many designs in my head and I’m interested in seeing how my creations turn out this year. Again apologies to those of you who got the Tippex ones last year. I didn’t know that the slightest brush against the card would result in an unsightly stain due to the Tippex not drying on the fabric. (haha) and also, those of you who get the prototypes tested on you – look out!

Anyway to end with, I have the reasons WHY we are going to fail Economics this year.
Lol, I love my class, I really do. But….. we’re going to fail! Lolol how I love my oh so positive outlook.

Context: We’d just done some practice exam question. Badly. Very badly.
Mr S: “No one drew the diagram for a Monopoly!”
Class: “There’s a diagram for it?!”
Mr S: “Girls you didn’t include any diagrams. Points for diagrams. ANY diagrams! *draws haphazard line on the board* Like this! ANYTHING!”
Zoe: “That’s a made up diagram though!”
Mr S: “..”
Zoe: “Oh.... no.. it’s not?”
Mr S: “Okay, let’s go through all the other diagrams
Zoe: “…Yeah let’s see what ELSE we don’t know”

Mr S: “You all MUST bring a ruler to the exam. You can’t just use your pashminas all the time!”
Class:
“Why would you use a pashmina?”
“You’d get it dirty”
“And it wouldn’t really be a very straight line....”
"...Who's even wearing a pashmina?!"

But of course Mr S has his moments too.
"Right, what about Tom Hughes.. no Ted Hughes.. Tom Hanks?.. Ted Banks? TOM CRUISE! THE FOOTBALLER! See I HAVE street cred!"


PS Ambray has just kindly informed me. I have to participate in this Sportsathon thing tomoro at school. I have LEARNED from the mistake of Tuesday 22nd March no doubt.
"Episode Two: The Return Of Queen Chav."

Great.

From the title alone, many of you will have had mixed ideas. Before I have to repeat this to five hundred other people. D+M = Deep and Meaningful.

For further reference, it is not

• A secret code name for a couple
• Related to S+M
• My announcement of a new bitch
• Ant + Dec related
• A disease

(*these were ACTUAL suggestions. What kind of readers DO i have?!)

Y'know I've never really thought about it before but I've really underestimated the power of mass silences.
And no, im not talking about the kind of silence that comes upon us after one of my "jokes" or a "conversation killer". Yes, i do appear to be "overusing" these.

But yes. I'm talking about the mass silences of the recent days. We had one in McT's assembly. We had one in the middle Economics. There was even one this morning.

Before I go on to talk with serious, yet beautiful words about serious, yet beautiful things - I'd just like to point out. Mr McTavish SEEMED like a dude. However, I am firm in my "contreversial" belief that he is from the Stone Age in both body AND soul. That is, if he has a soul. Not that he scares me but seriously, the man is as straight edged as they come.
Quote: "You don't deserve to be Head Girl, you'r skirt is too short"
No joke.
I still maintain that Ambray should have replied "You don't deserve to be "acting head master", you clearly wear your trousers too high up your own..

As i was saying.
Mass silences. Okay, we all know we're just tiny insignificant specks in this highly populated world we live in right? But for those 2 minutes in which the whole area fell silent. The classroom was still. The cars stopped. For those 2 minutes the school, ground to a complete halt.
It makes me think. Slightly in awe actually. Just think, while we did that, the rest of the country stopped with us. (of course, i'm speaking in general terms, I know not EVERYONE stopped, but just for the mental image and emotive words, go with me here)
And in that moment I realised that even though I'd done this about a hundred times in the past, everytime I do it, I become more aware of it all. I mean, when I was younger it was just a sort of, just go with it, kinda things. I still remember there was like an 'unwritten' sort of contest to see who was the "most upset" and "affected" by the whole thing. I never won.. I can't cry on cue unlike SOME people.
I'd hate this to sound like some sort of pretentious "and-i-realised-how-lucky-i-was" deals because it's not. Just, seeing on TV today, the streets of London at a standstill, a view over Westminister with everything still. Hundreds of people standing side by side- the leaders of the nation, representatives from around the world. All together. In silence.

And everything was .... .... at peace.
Which I suppose is the whole point of Remembrance Day right? Recognise that we live in a world with peace? Though some of you may dispute that lol

Being the busy person I am (err understatement), my life is pretty much non-stop. Hectic. Rushing here, running there, falling over on the way. And the rest of the world with me of course - it's a world where each person has their own life, with their own jobs, friends, morals and ideals. Think of all the strangers that pass every day. Have you ever wondered about what their life is like? What they do for a living, if they're married, have kids. It occurred to me that for every day I face. For every one I meet and every job I have to do - there's millions of people out there, in this country alone, that are doing the same thing. Living their lives too.
The world does not revolve around us. Everything is not always about what happens at school, what happens within our friendship groups, who said what and who likes whom. There's more to life than that.

And its moments like these when I can stop. Everything stops. And I can just stand there and think about what's really going on. Even if it is for only 2 minutes.
But for those 2 minutes. We're reminded of the fact that we are not alone in this world.

And for that I'm grateful.

Okay, so much for the end of my blogging hiatus.
I’ve gone from like 4 times a week to once a month. Surely that’s a sign I’m getting out more?! (Optimistically speaking)
October has been an interesting month to say the least. Humiliations occurred weekly.
A few which I’ve had enough time to get over now so shall indulge you with

• The Skirt Incident
• The Map Incident
• The Assembly Incident

Yes, it looks like a long blog today then boys and girls....

First of all, may i just mention that, yes, ALL i have been doing at community involvement is sharpening pencils - but it does beat last week where we were gardening and it was like "Zoe, do you like worms? *dangles in face*.. *inaudible mutter* etc")

Okay, let's start with the most recent. Anti-chronological order. (There has to be a term for that..? Do enlighten me)
Anyway, if you've been in assembly recently like good little boys and girls. Well actually, just girls, because, well I don't really have to explain that. But yes, if you've been in assembly, you'll have seen The Cabinet's presentation on Growth. And of course, our very own interpretations were as follows:

Sinead = Legally Blonde.
Laurie = Jamie Oliver
Robee = Robbie Williams
Amber= McFly

And me?
Zoe = Dwarf actors

First time round? First time lucky. Second time round? Ergh.
The line is "It's no wonder he's known as the hardest working man in showbiz"
Zoe says: "*smiles* Its no wonder he's known as the hardest man in .. *choke* hardest WORKING man in .. in.."
Cue laughter
Cue mass hysteria
Cue Mr Rosen sitting in the middle of my gaze.

Bollocks.

Numero dos. The Map.
Okay, we all know Current Issues is a drag. We all know that being bored can lead us to many a strange activity. THUS..
Well.. we drew this map for Davey. Because he had to meet me in N5 at lunch (important head boy/girl thing heyy)
So WE and I stress WE (sorry Charlot, bringing you down with me for PROVIDING the crayo- I mean colouring materials.) We drew this map. And what a GREAT map it was.

"The Map (Of Dooom!)" as christened by me was released unto the world (Dave's pocket) complete with "Ye Olde Zebra Crossing, where ye Zebras used to cross" and "The Tree of Life", "Elephants Graveyard" - dont forget "Mordor" and "The Bridge of Kazuk-Doom"
Oh we ARE witty..
Embarassing? Not yet. We gave the map to Dave, knowing he would appreciate our style of humour. However! Little did we know he would end up showing the Head Boy and a following large crew of year 13's. Champton said, "Yeah, I saw that map. He didn't need tosay who drew it, I was like .. Zoe did this didn't she?"
I am going to kill Whiffin. Tom Duffy must think I'm an even BIGGER loser now lol. (Plus I drew the three of them getting lost - truly skillful it was!)

However, despite all the drama, they managed to find the room SO quickly (with the aid of my map i bet), they actually beat me there...
Okay, okay, I WAS late - BUT THE QUEUE IN THE CANTEEN TOOK YEARS. Again, it was embarassing as i turned up holding a donut between my lips and the excuse, "Sorry, I was being a pie". HMMM. Who says first ... second.. impressions are the most important?

ANd finally, the last one. La piece de resistance.
The Skirt.

Right. This did actually happen like 4 weeks ago but I feel it's only now, that I'm ready to share the shame with the online world. (By that I mean all 30 or so of you readers).
In the fair bus park where we lay our scene... Two starcrossed ex-lovers take their life.
Well, at least one wishes she could.

Lol random Romeo and Juliet revivals aside. I was finally talking to Fertrank in the bus park one glorious Friday afternoon. Admittedly it wasn't to be the easiest of situations having broken up a week or so before. (At this point I'd love to roll my eyes and say "*sigh* You know how it IS with relationships!" but I'll save that for another time)

So now you know the context and the characters. What about the plotline? I hear you ask. With glee.

Ha. Well, I was wearing my red skirt which I've worn a countless number of times before. You'll have seen it, but probably not since then.. No problems so far right?
As I said it was a glorious day. The sun was in the sky, there were no rainclouds in sight and the passing buses roared past, whipping the first of the autumn leaves into the air. I'm standing down the bottom of BayB with Fertrank, Kinks and Scanlers before the sudden arrival of this... this ..FREAK GUST OF WIND which swooshes down from nowhere!!

You can guess what's taken with it. Okay okay, it didn't come RIGHT off but...

Zoe's skirt is blown up in the air. And I'm not even talking about, gently lifted. I'm talking Marilyn Monroe - but with "look, no hands!"

Oh...My...God.

There is no way that anyone in a 10 m radius will not have seen that. So what about those actually standing with me? Ground. Me. Swallow. PLEASE!

Later, having run away hysterically screaming "NOOOOOOO!" (Actually, I lie, i had to wait a bit longer for the bus to turn up), I texted Fertrank with: "Here's th deal. We r never tlking about this ever again. Ever."
He replied. "Sure thing... Hey Zoe, do u remember th time that ur skirt blew up nd hit me in th face? I do."

Great.

Right, til next time then!

xXXx

PS...
UCAS sent me an email the other day.

"My Personal Statement Ruined My Life" – Prevention Strategies

Errr... a BIT late perhaps?

Bastards.