My Not So Interesting Life

Its been a long while since i last blogged.
What has been happening? Ho hum....
Well, first of, last night i chugged along to Dinton to attend un medieval banquet courtesy of Princesses Josephine and Hatstand **possibly not their real names

Was rather fun, there was LOTS of ham and tomatoes and bread!! My three favourite staple foods.
Well, not really, but bread is. And so is ham. And tomatoes are pretty okay..... Yeah. ANYWAY!
Had lots of fun playing with our swords, but as i dont have one i played with Fosters. LOL i can see the look of horror on your faces now. And for further information i also played with D-B-Dan's, Dave's and James. Unfortunately James's had broken in half, D-B-Dan's was too short and as for Daves? Well Daves bent before i had finished with it. And it was blue.

Lol, enough of that now, let talk about DRESSES!
People very nicely dressed, mainly courtesy of Genies - hats off to them. And also snaps for the people who made their own costume. Textiles obviously paid off for the twins and as for Daves - bedsheet and curtain - well... that was lovely too! Lol, I liked the fact that D-B-Dan's costume was obviously decorated with a felt tip pen. And Foster wore one big ass pair of socks ;)

Lisa, in particular deserves snaps for her costume, also courtesy of Genies - they must have made lots of profit from us-, as she came in a large aquamarine dress and what appeared to be a large ...bagel on her head. Mmm bagel. Cue the bagel jokes that Katus insisted on making all through the night. (Honestly, i swear she was drunk, she kept repeating the word "phallus" over and over again... for some reason which i really cant think of... lol)
Actually, thinking about it, how many times can you say taht without getting mixed up. Be right back folks.
..........
..........
I managed eight times before it becomes "Phrallus" or "Phlarrus"
hehe phlarrus. Oooh thats a new un!

Moving AWAY from this subject (god, everything i say seems to divert back to it!!)
Lol me and Machete were at opposite ends to the table - cue the waving and grinning like loons at eachother.

Am thinking of a topic to write about for the feature in the school paper. So far my ideas are "Single Sex Education", "Uniform" and "The Price of School Lunches"
Plus, theres the column to think about.... Lol, imagine the shock seeing "MY NOT SO INTERESTING LIFE" leaping out at you from the pages of the school newspaper. (though i dont know what i would call it)

Lol, just when you thought you'd disconnected the phone line....... der-ner........ der-ner.... der-ner.. der-ner der-ner der-ner (theme from "Jaws")
:)

BBC 1 - "The Greatest Love Songs"
My house has turned into Saturday night kareoke down at the local pub.
My mother has jsut finished crooning to Ronan and "When you say nothing at all"
Was it good? Well, lets just say the fish is trying to commit suicide by swimming into the wall of the tank.

God, theres jsut something about those love songs.
I like them, sue me. Im ACTUALLY singing along WITH Donny Osmond. Yes Donny Osmond. I really do live for songs like these. And songs like "Flip Reverse" :P

Hehe, anyways, jsut a random note....

BTW D of E Group Five - Project on "Nature" is in for Monday!!! DO something!!
I bags cows
Has- Geography stuff
Chrisi- Crops???
Hollis -
Elly-
etc etc
We did leave it last minute didnt we?
AGain...

I have now got my costume for a medieval themed shin-dig I'm attending next week.
Think one of of Henry VIIIs wives and you got it. Strange … seeing that its meant to be medieval… Its one of those "one size fits all" and the resulting fit is determined by a single rope of cord that you lash around your waistage.
Heeee, and theres a really cool thing to wear on your head!
Anyways, drugs training day thing today.
Was quite good seeing that there were a few schools there – John Colet, Misbourne, Mandeville, Buckingham, AGS and AHS.
Started off with ice breakers – My name is this, I like this, I don’t like this etc

Then I fell asleep during a lecturey thing.
I WAS ALL SPASMOLYSED! (and yes it means what it sounds like - isnt it a GOOD WORD?)
How embarrassed was I??
I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I really didn’t, just I kinda drifted off, and when Dave woke me up, Shyam and Alpha in front had turned around… Jesus I hope I didn’t snore.... Or say something incriminating...
Lol part from that one talk, the rest was cool. We went to Safeways slash Morrisons – and bought bread!!! :D

Yay!

Then we got let out LATE so me and Alice, who had buses to catch, seriously PEGGED it all the way back to Highbridge - because we were too tired to run up the hill and plus - who wants to ruin their Converse? (well, my fake Converse, hers were real)

And as we ran across the zebra crossing - a car beeped at us in that oh-so-taunting way. And guess who it was? A very smug Gopsill and Goody sitting in a car waving at us.

Buttmonkeys.

Im actually doing my English Homework at the moment, but i interrupt my education with a random musing on life... Or so.

Dont you just hate it when the lid pops of the smarties tube so they all end up amongst the crap in the bottom of your bag??

I do.

ANyways, now its back to English, "Much Ado About Nothing" which has been re-christened by dear Miss Milzani to symbolise an "amusing" title for an "amusing" play.
"How?" you say?
Well let me enlighten you

"Ado" means "Fuss"
"About" can also mean "Over"
And apparantly, "Nothing" was pronounced "Noting" in those days so the new name is now
"Much Fuss Over Noting"

And i have to agree with Miss M on this one, it is pretty "amusing".
Considering that "Noting" is Elizabethan slang for "female genitals"

First and foremost I am icked by what i jsut saw on TV. "50 years, 50 records" , they just showed a man lifting this huuuge weight by sticking a hook through his tongue, attatching it to the top of the weight and lifting it up. EWWW. And they ZOOMED in on his tongue tissue stretching...
Well, i wasnt feeling sick or anything,but you know when you see something and its like its happening to you? Like if someone gets punched in the stomach you put a hand to your stomach, and if someones getting kicked in the balls you okay i think iv made my point.

Just got back from work and it was soo busy. But Stat came to the store and i was like heeeeey, im working a till! And then this little girl of about 4 - soo cute- came in and she rEALLY needed to go to the toilet, so we took her to the staff toilet, which we'r not meant to, but in certain cases we can.
I took her to the cubicle, shut the door, waited outside, until i hear this little voice.
"Erm.... LADY? LADY!"
"Yes? Whats wrong?"
"Erm...... *pause*"
THen i get THAT sinking feeling
"Could you get my mummy please?"
So i hurried to get her mum and they came out a few minutes later.

So then me and my "colleague" went back in to see what had happened and as we walked in we were greeted by the most attractive smell...
"Erggggh what IS that?"
"Did she just-"
"Eeeew!"

How can someone that cute produce something that vile?!

Anyways, before i go, quick update on el situationI GOT PICKED TO DO THE DRUGS PROJECT THINGMEEJIG!
Lol get the irony in that! Me teaching little kids about being aware about drugs lol Oh the carnage....

THe training day is next tuesday - the day when I have no lessons.
WHAT IS THE POINT OF MISSING SCHOOL IF YOU DONT MISS LESSONS?!

Ahem.

TOday i had an English lesson. With Miss Milzani. LOL, just when i thought id have no more lessons with her, BOOM, im chucked right back into the deep end.
First lesson, we'r about to start Much Ado About Nothing, ("Much Adooo About Nuttin"), and we'r just going through the basic themes and stuff of comedies.
"Who wants to know the origins of the word "comedy" ?"
Oh wow, just what we'v always wanted to know... do enlighten us.
"It came from the days when men danced around a phallus - *cue chokes of laughter from Zoe as Miss Milzani has just mentioned the P-word* (if you dont know what is it yet, just wait and read on)
"Now who knows what a PHALLUS is?"
More laughter on my part.
She notices me and says knowingly
"ZOE KNOWS WHAT A PHALLUS IS!"
I stop.... wait a minute, why would men want to dance around a ... "NO i dont think i do.. IM confused.." I say
Miss Milzani draws this on the board

*More silence*
And then, as if what she had drawn was the most OBVIOUS thing in the world,
"Gellls, eees a penis!"
*Chaz n Katus erupt into giggles*
Seriously, Chaz was crying with laughter!
Ohhh how iv missed lessons with Miss MIlzani...

And then we started watching the film complete with a character called "Don John, the bastard" lolol
And it starts off all serene with a tranquil female voice reciting a sonnet.
Its really cool and shakespearian until the last line
"into hey, nonny. nonny."

Wow that could be like a new greeting or something!
Nonny nonny everyone!
Nonny nonny to you!
Nonny nonny off.

ANyways, im knackered and my ice cream is melting.
Nonny nonny!

Wow two days have gone past already and i finally feel like im settling in. Ish. Everyone has brand spanking new folders and organisers! I need to get a diary thing, i thought they were gonna provide us with one...... ho hum.

Eeee, i cant believe we only have 4 subjects .... Wow. And the frees!!
Every second tuesday i have NO lessons. Yes. Zero lessons. AND I STILL HAVE TO COME IN TO SCHOOL!
(and please dont say, oh go do Home Study, because i have no clue what that is) Heheh, im in 12L (and no L does NOT stand for Losers or anything like that!)

Day two- One of the WORST DAYS EVER! (***may be an exxageration, just may be)
Okay, the day was good, but I MISSED THE BUS HOME!!! And i stood there in the sweltering heat in my black top (which doesnt reflect heat - i listen in Physics lol) and waited.... and waited... punched Dave... and waited.. Unti this one guy in the year above comes up and is like, I think we'v missed our bus.
IT CAME IN BLOODY BAY A! Its not meant to do that! What IS the world coming to?!?!
SO then i had to get on another bus - actually the last bus there- to Milton Keynes and i sat squashed at the back amongst chattering Lower School pupils (Mwahah hear me scorn! lol) and wishing I was somewhere else.
Unfortunately shotguns are not allowed on school buses.

AND when i got home - eventually- when it got dark, my dad had just finished watering the flowers (serious role reversal in this family) i went out to feed the rabbit.
I took a step into a shadowed area, accidentally knocking this branch thing and suddenly i felt this huge stone fall into my shoe, just where the tongue is meant to be, but thesee were old trainers - i'd ripped out the tongue.
I looked down and there was a huge TOAD on my foot!!! I screamed (because it had shocked me) and shook my foot and it finally came off, cos it got tangled up, and crawled away....
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

And that was my bad day. lol

And it all starts again tomorrow...
What can i say, its been a good summer, i hope everyone had a great time - but may i just point out one thing? WHY IS IT THAT THE SUNSHINE HAS ONLY JUST DECIDED TO COME OUT? Bloody weather *mutters*

Anyway! Ranting over, today i went and bought stuff for tomorrow. yes people, I went STATIONARY shopping. I dont know about you, but i like my stationary. Cool staionary of course. And pretty stationary. In fatc .. probably stationary as a whole... Emmaroon has this cool rubber with this hole in its case .. *giggles*
Back to stationary shopping! Its actually quite fun, like ANY shopping relaly (except Home Shopping, how i loathe Home Shopping)! But yeah it only happens once a year really so ssh. And it is quite fun .... lol Well, once you get over the extortionate prices of certain shops, mentioning no names *cough WHSmith cough*
But yes, now i have a preeeetty pearly folder AND a brand spanking new Oxford Maths Set. Is it just me, or does everyone come into school with a new Oxford Maths Set each year? Lol, i dont know, they just have a lose-ability about them. Or maybe people steal them .... because theyr SHINY..... *strokes beard*

BTW, for those of you "cool" enough to be doing Maths next year at AHS - HAS ANYONE DONE THAT PREP PACK?
Ha, for those of you who have no clue what im on about, at some day, some time ago, we were given a "Mathematics Starter Pack" (booklet of paper) where the staff have asked us to "work through it during the last weeks of your summer holiday"
I found it about 10 minutes ago in my sock drawer (dont ask, even i dont know) So im sure you can guess whether Iv actually done it or not.
But yes, for those of you who are thinking that the maths teachers at AHS are complete nonces who have no idea that we have better things to do in our well earned summer than sit and do questions on "various algebraic techniques" , have no fear!

"Also included are a few puzzles just to remind you of the fun side of the
subject"

A number crossword! Im speechless.

Lol, now Im done, I'd like to conclude this blog with some thoughtful thought into something d+m (deep n meaningful, NOT S+M).... alas, all i can come up with is the LostProphets.....

You're here by my side, in the summer, our last summer
The world passes by in the summer, our last summer
The light makes shadows fall, surrounded by each other
Alive to watch it all... a view from our last summer ....

:D I'll be seeing some of you tomorrow. Bay B massiv re-united... Lololol....

Okies, the evening of the 31st was something to be ..... discussed over dinner only to result in huge lapses of embarassment...
Y'know theres always one person who will throw away all dignity on the dancefloor just to get everyone going? Yeah, THATS ME! lolololol im available for parties, birthdays, hen nights and bar mitzvahs...
But yeah, the party was fun. And it got gatecrashed by about five young Blazin Squad wannabes (edit- what am i doing degrading them? Im meant to like them! .... BABYCAKES wannabes (who in turn are Blazin Squad wannabes... god its a vicious circle!) who wandered about the hall and were probs the ones who stole Kate's phone. Gayarses.
Everyone was kinda watching them not knowing what to do, and impatient me, kinda went up to them, on a whim asking them if they were part of the private party, and if they were not, would they kinldy leave?
Then i realised i was by myself, but WAHEY there were people standing their ground behind me. (including the unknown fittie, but we dont talk about that online in front of millions of people ... okay, about seven but hey)
Anyways, they left. Score to us. *insert random victory noise like ..... Peeyow! *

(BTW, Im going to the Pitz this Saturday - yay!! My rentals have always said "after the exams, after the exams" and finally i can go!!! )

But yes, it was good. I had fun. And theres some kinda funny feeling about a whole hall of young people doing the Macarena andthen singing the musical score from Grease..... Peeyow!
*runs away*

Sorry for the delay but we’r back with more tales from the not so interesting life of me! (I dont hear any YAY-ing going on... *clicks gun* DO IT!) ......... Ahem.

GCSEs now over – for those of you who want to know, I managed to scrape in total 4 A*s and 7 A’s
(Also a C in AS French but we don’t talk about that in this household...)
Anyways after a great deal of negotiations between the general youth and their parents, each of us came out of this "experience" with something. Whether it be just the general feeling of accomplishment or just a whole load of money. Such as 1000 pounds perhaps. Yes that’s right. A friend of mine received 100pounds per A/ A*. Respect. Another person I know got a car!
As for me? I got permission to dye my hair. By myself of course. I didn’t want to do an all over colour so I went out and bought a lowlighting kit. Unlike a beauteous friend of mine who’s parents paid for her to go and have her hair highlighted at a proper hair place!! (otherwise known as a salon)
But no. I sat in my bathroom today meticulously pulling out strands through a cap with holes in (I looked like an onion) before painting my head with the lotion which

• a) smells like battery acid
• b) stains skin/carpets/basins a nice shade of brown and
• c) is about as easy to handle as liquid paraffin.

OMG, its petrol! Lol
Anyways, so I sat there eating Joosters jelly beans for 40 minutes before washing it all off and blowdrying my hair to reveal...........

Absolutely no change whatsoever.

Poo