*Names have been changed (slightly) to protect identity
Feedback accepted graciously (no violence involved, i swear)
Disclaimer: All events and proceedings related to this site are fictitious. Any association to current affairs is ENTIRELY coincidental...Completely coincidental
(Ha, that'll keep those with libel in mind happy. or dead)

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

A new beginning?

I have returned to Blogger, my dear sweet collector of my life's stories. No longer an adolescent but still prone to a good dose of poor chat which is enthusiastically documented, do things ever change?

For more from my grown up still not-so-interesting life, please take a trip over to :



2 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 1/09/2013 07:37:00 pm

Monday, July 02, 2007


I take it this is dead.

'Til the next blog folks


5 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 7/02/2007 08:28:00 pm

Monday, December 11, 2006

* *A month later.. * *

I interrupt this bloggin hiatus to announce.


Yes, my first blog in god knows how long and i am complaining.

You know why?
Was working late tonight (not of my own free will may i add)

It was bordering 6:30 and I'm sitting there and then ...


The fire alarm.

And so, we had to run outside as apparently it "was not a drill"

And it was cold. COLD.

And we waited there for 15 minutes. And there wasn't even a proper fire.


Anyways, updates asides - will see you all on Monday for Cert evening. Yes - Facebook is where it's at, and i've posted an event on there.

Zoe has logged onto Facebook about 50 times today. I work honest.

Oh, and how could i forget?

To be TOTALLY lazy. Here's my bulletin.

Yes, a lot of things have happened.
Yes, my wild nonsensical text means that yes, I passed my test (finally)

Yes, Uni Tour 06 is finally over and yes it was awesome!

Many thanks to all those who put me up and held me up over those days. Winner? Its close but i thiiink it's going to SHEFFIELD.
Next tours include :
Falmouth, Exeter, Bournemouth
UEA, Cambridge, Oxford

Yes, Wednesday was fun.

No, I'm not disclosing much more than that
Yes, apparently I have "pixie ears" :)

Also, my parents have decided to treat themselves with a new television about the size of my arm span.I swear they were waiting til I left home for this!

Moving on, yes I am THERE for the 21st. It's Oceana MK - of course I'm there!

Yes I WOULD offer Hotel Zoe up for accomodation except I'm leaving town on the 7:10 train the next morning.

Yes, that does suck.


4 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 12/11/2006 10:26:00 pm

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

BEWARE... texting landlines..

So yeah. LOTR was on the other day.

And yes. I DID remember all you lot - so you may have received my group text.

I got very excited at the memories :)

However in my excitement, i accidentally texted Rosie's home number so somehow, her dad ended up checking the messages to hear how I "FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!"


He then laughed when Rosie reminded him that yes, this was fellow DHG Zoe. And yes, the one who's now working for Deloitte.

What can i say? I have my moments.

See you all 18th Dec for the presentation!


PS- I'm just lazy now. Pasting from bulletins is what i do..

2 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 11/07/2006 08:41:00 pm

Sunday, October 08, 2006

My First Client

So yes.. Besty got Cadbury's for a first client.
Free chocolate and being able to pretend you're working for Willy Wonka.

What do i get? A company that makes metal tubes and piping.... Joy.

Anyway, i got sent out last minute so I was only going to be there four days. WHen i arrived, I was given the job of interviewing the client.

So there I am in the FD's office, introduced myself, the chance for a bit of small talk perhaps.. "Oooh, and what nationality are YOU then dear?"

I inwardly sighed. THis was going to be a lonnnng four days.

But hey, first Friday of the month, Deloitte employees get free drinks at Pitcher+Piano so whey something to reward me for my patience.
SO there I was in the office at about 4pm, then i realised before i could go i had to finish this "Ethics Awareness Programme" to comply with policy etc

Wouldn't take too long - just some online reading and online tests. STuff like "If Mary is stealing from the trust fund, is it wrong, what would you do?"

So there I am thinking, I'll do the test and THEN go for drinks...... Minutes pass and .. well.. I'm not getting any of these questions right.. I'm not being ALLOWED to progress to the next stage.. APPARENTLY I'M NOT AN ETHICAL PERSON!

But then all the graduates came back from college and decided that they had time to help me. Yay, i like it when Scholar charm works out in my favour :)

But... even with four of us around the computer, we couldn't get it right. I HAD HARD QUESTIONS! And they can back it up! Honestly! I'm not really unethical!!........

The Ending?
We got it eventually.

Gotta love multiple choice :)

1 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 10/08/2006 06:19:00 pm

Sunday, September 03, 2006


(so is this from the bulletin, or is the bulletin from this?)


So i'm in Birmingham right now.
I'm on an olllld PC - with bad connection. Wireless is poo in this region. BUT i'm living next door to a footballer.

Basically, you may have noticed me on/off on MSN like someone who's blocking/unblocking you for fun ( i've never done that..)

I tried to explain but wasted valuable connection time on MSN to say that PLEASE DON'T SEND ME STUFF OVER MSN. THis isn't my PC (thank god.) so i dont want everyone seeing me looking UTTERLY wankered...

So yeah.EMail me the pics from last night please. (it was wicked eh?)

Erm this is actually the THIRD time i've had to write this (thank you wireless..) and it's REALLY hard to type on this keyboard!!

Anyways, i gotta go, SOME OF US have work tomorrow..

4 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 9/03/2006 09:10:00 pm

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Update Shmupdate

So yeah - Friday, went to this "Welcome Lunch" in Birmingham to meet the rest of the intake for this year.

And not just Scholar intake - Graduate intake too.

When i'd got there and found my 3 other scholar friends, we stood there in the corner, wondering how on earth we were going to approach the 30 or so other graduates that stood clutching their degree certificates and talking amongst themselves at the other side of the room.

But we got told to mingle and - y'know, can't say no to an order from a Partner lol

And everyone bonds over free food right?

Anyways - if i had a pound for everytime i got asked "So, which university did you graduate from?" - i'd be "welll rich"

Those of you who spoke to me that evening will already have had the lowdown on the "Graduate Hotties" so i'll spare you all for the time being! All i can say is older, hotter, smarter. Full driving license.

Get in!

Though it really was interesting to see their faces when they found out I was actually, not 21, but 18 - and just got her A Level Results.

Next week - the hotel inductions.
I'm quite intrigued as one of the hotels boasts an "Ice Cave" - any ideas to what that is?

Though - the scholars were discussing how to get thrown off the team, and i presume getting your tongue stuck to a huge ice wall on your first day is probably one of them...

So yeah - no blog for a bit.
You're all off buying things for uni - like you care? EEEE! :)

However - if you DO have some time. I came across the D of E Diary again - and if you've got time.... Lol ohhh the memories..

My personal favourite is D of E Diary:Reloaded...

"So in the end, the only option was to sleep. So sleep we did. Eventually. After the whole saga of everyone in group 5 shouting goodnight to each other , The Waltons style.
“Goodnight Chisel!”
“Night Hollis!”
“Sweet dreams Bethjob!”
“Night Haz!”
“Whoevers ssh-ing is making just as much noise!”
Mr Torpey- “OK everyone quiet now!”

5 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 8/27/2006 08:43:00 pm

Monday, August 21, 2006

The next stage...

And so it begins... my last week in MK

Next week I have residentials, training, private rooms, free run of hotel facilities - I CAN'T WAIT.

But before the drama- first of all - CONGRATULATIONS everyone. I'm glad to hear that you all managed to get where you needed to go in the end!

I have got a place for Finance, Accounting and Management at Nottingham and most importantly, i have got my scholarship so I will be DOSSING AROUND NEXT YEAR! :D

It's all so weird that we're finally moving on, away etc etc but i guess I said all i needed to say in those DVDs.

I hope you keep them for when you feel like having a good reminisce!

Anyway - the point of this blog.
It is in fact my last full week in Milton Keynes.

If you are reading this, you are grandly invited to join us in a FAREWELL salute (drunken dance off) to my BELOVED Oceana this Thursday.

As always, Hotel Zoe is available for lady guests.

I'm planning to be out early - so i'll probably grab some of you for a Theatre Distrcit bar crawl/dinner.

You know my number...

RSVP not required lol


3 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 8/21/2006 09:33:00 pm

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


Okay - results day is coming, the unis have made their decisions, the results are probably at school right now... but we've all been asking the same questions.

No - not -where do we go from here? What happens if i dont get the grades?

Not even - what's the post-results plan?

Thinking too far ahead mates.


Various answers - the most popular being - 9 , half 9 and I DONT KNOW.

Now- i've dont my research.

I did a poll.

Results were USELESS



FLIK says : I thought we were meant to pick results up at 9, but Claire says there's a voicemail message on the school phone saying we're to pick them up at 9.30

Okay - a i said, she said thing - not entirely failsafe but we're thinking 9.30 then

THE WORD OF GOD (from a sourcE)

Emma says: did the cool thing and got my dad to check with his staff chums ¬_¬ he's been told 9.30 by the school

Her dad is a teacher. HE MUST BE RIGHT. (that's an arguement from authority - who says i learn nothing in GENERAL STUDIES?!)

So there we go.


Well - we can all turn up then en masse and stampede the school OR we can turn up earlier and cling to the school gates screaming LET ME INNNNN LET ME INNNN!

Win win situation...

GOOD LUCK for Thurs!

Find me - I made DVDs!

And thennnn - MK later that night? I THINK SO!


8 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 8/15/2006 09:11:00 pm

Monday, August 14, 2006


Details to follow here soon.

*shakes fist at stupid bus stops pretending to be parking spaces*

Lol doy

This is what happened.

And i'm telling you it's all a big pile of gay.

We pulled into this residential area and were coming up to a layby. At the end of the layby, there was a silver car parked.

The examiner said.
"I'd like you to pull up before we pass this silver car"

So I pull into the layby at the opposite end to the car thinking, it's residential area, there's a car parked there - it's probably some residential parking area..

(quite easy to see my train of thought eh?)


He then tells me that we're going to drive past the next road and do the reverse round the corner routine. All goes well.


Back at the driving centre, i get my 12 minors and...

MAJOR FAULT (of the serious variety)

This "lay-by" was not infact a "residential parking area" and more of a "bus-stop"


With "double yellow lines" too - but hey... i swear you don't SEE these things when you're nervous do you?!

Oh - and you might find it funny that i stalled on the VERY FIRST turn i made.
Luckily that only counted as a minor for gears.

"Don't worry" says the examiner (aka TRICKSTER) "you'll get it NEXT TIME!"

But for now.

The streets are still safe.

Though sometimes i see drivers and wonder - how did they manage to pass in the first place?!

2 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 8/14/2006 10:36:00 pm

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

A few developments...

Went to see POTC2 with Elsha the other day.

It was a bit pants.
Well - it was good! But... it got a bit boring. I resorted to just looking at Orlando Bloom's face instead. And - i don't know how Johnny Depp is attractive as Jack Sparrow - but somehow ... he just is. And i'm not even a Depp devotee.

However - the MONSTERS were scarier this time. Had me behind the popcorn - a bit like that time me and Elsh went to see Shrek and got scared at the bit where you find out she's an ogre. True Story.

ALSO - here's a tip - mixing sweet AND butter popcorn is lush - but i DO NOT recommend trying to pour half into the other packet etc.
We tried that. Do we fail to NOTE? - It's dark - one of your eyes is on the film - NOT the best place to be pouring popcorn to and from each bag.

Anyway, the point of this blog.(yes, there's a point)
I'd like to take this time to announce that yes, my driving test is in a few weeks.
More importantly. (or less importantly, depending on how you see it)

V Reg Daewoo Matiz - with three S's

Lol - that was yesterday - i'm impressed with how long it's taken before i shout it out all over the internet.
It's like an EEEEEEEEEEEEENY people carrier - isn't it cute?!

It's coming on the weekend so GET OFF THE ROADS!!
(ha, to all those hoping to leave something "witty" like that in a comment - i beat you to it.)

Also - i've done something gay to my finger so it's taking aaages to spellcheck this blog. But, on MSN the other night, my spelling + coordination was so bad that Matt asked me if i was DYSLEXIC.

To which i replied:


Smooth Zoe, real smooth.

PS Bar crawl around the Theatre District tomoro evening - then onto REVS <3

5 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 8/02/2006 08:47:00 pm

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Zoe's Travel Writing Attempt

To summarise.

I went to Hong Kong – we then decided to go to Thailand for 5 days – then we went back to Hong Kong.

The weather was great, I ate loads, I bought a new wardrobe, I dyed my hair, got new glasses, embarrassed myself.

I’ve written more details on separate pages to spare you. But... now that we all seem to have so much spare time – I’ve provided something to take it up lol.

And it’s kindly put into categories for you to navigate through. THROUGH THE MADNESS.

Episode 1 - The Cruise
Episode 2- The Old folks + The Macarena
Episode 3 – Another Transgender Story
Episode 4 – Zoe VS The Elephant
Episode 5 – Good guys go to heaven, bad guys go to PATTAYA
Episode 6 – A further note about cars
Episode 7- Ugly Versus Beautiful
The Girl Part:
- Style + Fashion
- The Males

Anyway – if you’re about and bored, let me know and we’ll do something. I even have a diary for appointments now :P


5 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 7/19/2006 03:35:00 pm

General Highlights


Episode 1 - The Cruise
They’ve introduced this new one-night cruise, where basically, they take you in this grand ship, out to sea, in a circle and then back again the next morning.

Pointless you’d think?
Well, basically, it’s an opportunity for gambling and all-inclusive buffets and shows.

I didn’t gamble, the show was pants – oh lolol the show. It was one of these “stories” about the elements – Earth, Fire, Water – BASICALLY it was House Dance on Ecstasy – complete with tacky costumes and the odd transvestite here or there. (Ask me to do the first 8 counts of the intro – you’ll love it. THEY USED MY MOVE)

We then went to watch some musical trio play hits from the 60’s-90’s and somehow, they ended up doing one of the most famous dancefloor fillers….

Episode 2- The Old folks + The Macarena.

Believe me, I’ve seen some entertaining things in my life but there is nothing quite better than watching a group of middle aged peoples trying to do the Macarena. All I can say is – at least they all jumped at the same time.
Apart from that, no one really knew the moves so, as of now, the first sequence is punching the air in front of you four times.

Shaaame on them.

1 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 7/19/2006 03:31:00 pm



To put it straight, Thailand was amazing. Basically we went on a tour and it was dead cheap – working out about £150 for 4 nights – all inclusive.

Episode 3 – Another Transgender Story
After arriving in Bangkok, the first thing we were taken to see were what I now call “ladyboys”
Basically, Thailand has a strong history of transsexuals (both post and pre-op) therefore has somehow developed them into their national identity by staging cabaret shows in Bangkok – displaying these … specimens.
Excuse the dodgy quality, but these were hurriedly taken
This is a man.
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So is this.
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Oh – and I just HAD to take a picture of the funniest dancers I had seen so far. I don’t know why, but one of them just really reminded me of Spangus.
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Episode 4 – Zoe VS The Elephant
We went on an elephant ride – it was wicked. Though I’m amazed at how elephants can be driven – I can barely understand driving a car.
It was great – and we were very happy
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And then this happened.
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My first reaction?

Then we realised that it was just water and we were not going to die of any diseases that may or may not have been carried in Elephant mucus.

Episode 5 – Good guys go to heaven, bad guys go to PATTAYA

Pattaya is like the red light district of Thailand. Sounds like a cliché, but I saw so many sailors with their weekend toys if you get what I mean?
And it was really rank to see old white men walking around with a young Thai girl, though it was pretty amusing when you saw that they couldn’t really think of anything to say to each other. The man would just sit there trying to relax and the girl (if it was in fact, a girl), would be sitting there looking incredibly bored.

The roads in Pattaya are just like the traffic in India.

And the Wong family decided to try and cross one.
It was chaos – with cars coming at stupidly fast speeds, including bikes and trucks, it was very hard to find the right moment to madly dash across the road.

How hard? Well…
Imagine a group of new year 7’s trying to cross Turnfurlong at rush hour. Blind ones.
One of the year 7s says – I‘m the oldest, I’ll take us across
One replies – We should keep walking and try to find a crossing
The last cries –We’re going to DIE.

(you can see which metaphorical Year7 represented each member of my family, I’m sure)

In the end, we followed some locals.

Episode 6 – A further note about cars
Everything is so colourful.
The taxis are HOT PINK.
No joke.

Only in Thailand…
We were sad to say goodbye. Had we not been accosted by a several groups of people asking us if we’d like to “see a special show” – every single waking moment of the day.

But before we left, we went to a theme park and GUESS WHO I MET!

Yes – they have the Cheetah from Cheetos (Wotsits rip-off) in THAILAND.

Episode 7- Ugly Versus Beautiful
The children are so cute. Seriously, there are so many little chinese kids that are fucking adorable – I have decided, I’m going to find myself a fit future husband and we’ll make lots of cute Chinese kids. It’ll be ace.

Haha WANTED: A fit future husband to create a super breed of uber-adorable babies?

However, as ever, with the cute, comes the not so cute. It’s unbelievable how many people in the east think that by swamping themselves in designer labels, they’ll suddenly be AMAZING. You get some intensely rude and disrespectful people – but I suppose in the end, you get what you give, as I realised when coming across seriously rude people with a seriously unfortunate faces.

2 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 7/19/2006 03:28:00 pm

Humiliating Events


Yes, believe it or not, I manage to humiliate myself even on holiday.

a) Falling over whilst crossing a busy zebra crossing. I BLAME HK SHOES AND THEIR SLIPPERY SOLES! (but i spose, it had to happen right?)

b) Having a bit of a communication failure with the fit hairdresser (think of an East-Asian cross between Colin Farrell and Brad Pitt) – he basically said I should tuck in the chair a bit and I thought he was asking me something so I just sat there smiling and nodding. So he decided to do it himself in the end.
I wasn’t expecting it.

c) Ho ho, my personal best. Leaving before the others to hail a taxi, I took the lift down to the main street and was waiting for my grandma and her aide to come outside. As they stepped out onto the street, the aide pointed down at my feet and said (in a rough English translation) “Oh no Miss, you forgot to change your shoes!”
I looked down. What did I see? Surely enough, I was still wearing a pair of slippers. Red ones. With Miffy the bunny plastered across in bold print.

1 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 7/19/2006 02:20:00 pm

The Girl Part

Read the FINAL installment here...

Style And Fashion

Scene Kid Style – all the kids wear the thick black specs these days. Though some have gone a bit retro and have coloured sides – my mother thought I should get black specs with orange handles. No thanks.

As for fashion wise? It’s developed from last year but the smock top IS still around – but expect a lot of lace next season, with the arrival of mini cardigans for layering. Oh and lots of ballet shoes – with design twists. Also long shorts are in – including new designs coming for the “office”. Unfortunately, everything short over in HK was uber mini on me as I am, in fact of supermodel stature in Hong Kong – the tallest girls I came across were at most, 5”6.

The Males

Oh gosh oh gosh. Future husbands EVERYWHERE. The western influence has really hit HK in the past few years. Goodbye to the HK boys with orange hair and weird backpacks – hello to a new breed of Japanime versus Brit rah!

I’m in love with the hairstyles. I fell in love with several just from behind...

Hong Kong Island is the home of boys with anime hairstyles, upturned collars and Jin-from-Lost cheekbones. I want to live there.

Okay, it’s probably true that the majority of the pretty boys are in fact now pretty girls – but the ones that remain. Darker skin, but amazing eyes. You know how on the street, you can walk past someone and have that connection for a split second when you look at them, look away, look back etc? You get the idea I’m sure lolol

The rest is all too animated to say on here. But when I see you, no doubt you'll get the gossip - and the excited hand gestures - then <3

1 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 7/19/2006 02:19:00 pm

Friday, July 14, 2006

Everything Changes But You...

There was a Take That Greatest Hits album playing on the in flight entertainment system...

But it's slightly true - i get back from hol and so much has changed, gone on, happened etc

Half of you are on hol - or STILL on holiday, lucky betches.

When i find the time (lol) i will type up a holiday blog - but to put it shortly, it was great - the weather was hot, i bought a whole new wardrobe and i met about 50 future husbands lol

Questions questions questions

First of all - who the hell are these new people on Big Brother? And WHO are these people in Eastenders?
And - why is there suddenly Jimmys Farm on tv?!

And wtf is this Only Fools On Horses thing?!

The weather is really nice - though i heard that you guys got storms + uber heatwave too?
I've said it before, and i'll say it again, our weather is bordering fucked up lol

Oh - and random news, i found my old Tamagotchi - it's alive!!! I think i might have to take the batteries out soon as the incessant noise is KILLING me. Though, it can gamble and drink alcohol so at the moment I quite like it!

Has anyone got any embarassing tales from the 5 or so parties that went on in the past two weeks? I'd be happy to swap my humiliation stories from HK - believe me, there are many lol

Anyways, just thought i'd get this rolling again - i'm now off to play with my new toy - i bought an ERHU (chinese two stringed violin/cello) so am teaching myself it so i can be uber
It sounds like i'm strangling a chicken.

OOOh, jsut a thought - back to the title of my blog.

Well, i got my hair cut but they've done it cleverly so it's still uber long! It's also been dyed a bit lighter - though the sun and sea has not reacted well with it, i swear i'm ginger now.

Oh and i got new glasses that make me look like a scene kid.

Joy joy joy!

Will be seeing you all very soon!
(Me and Machete have to go back to school next week though :s)

Oceana next Thurs anyone?

*** EDIT*** - you might like to know that my Tamagotchi has passed away due to a faulty power connection. This gives me a new record of 2hours and 26 minutes. I'm holding a memorial service tomoro morning if you feel affected by this. Flowers can be sent to my home address.

9 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 7/14/2006 08:16:00 pm

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Zoe is being deported

But i couldn't leave without posting a pre-holiday blog. TRADITION mate! (honestly, not because i've found a new activity to avoid ... PACKING! Anti-Packing Group yerr - I wonder what CRAZY things she'll get up to..)


First off - last night was WICKED.

It was so much fun getting you all to dance like loons with me. Also - 2 for 1 on cocktails at Revs - ME AND E made use of that! (plus the barmen are hot in Revs!)

It was fun stalking fit checkered shirt boys who looked like a straight, hotter version, less Maltan version of Will Cass - haha he's going to have an ego trip

It was also fun dancing to complete mashups of ALL my fave songs and trying to pop with Austin. (Didn't work but he is the dancing king - after Rafi lol)

However, you know one thing that's not fun? People forcing themselves on you - and then after making a hasty excuse and retreat... bumping into them again later that night - realising that the dark, is ACTUALLY their friend.

That's not fun.

There were lots of beautiful moments like this
Danny D takes On Hutton. Much to his delight. And comfort.

And some interesting ones... (lol at Austin!)

WTF is Autin doing? Chrysostom looks like he's having fun!

But yeahh - should give kudos to the drivers for getting everyone there - Elly, Danny D, Miner Matt and Hutton - who probably should have extra kudos cos he drove his car when Beasley had thrown up in it a few nights before.... but then again... Elly had a drunk Chizzel to deal with and Miner Matt had Frazer amongst his passengers - we ALLL know that Frazer is a wild wild boy when drunk :/ (lol jks)

Am a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiit kankered seeing that I got back about 2ish and went to bed much later lol

But yeah I have last minute packing to do. I'll do it sometime.
After breakfast.

Haha this morning, my mum said "Zoe, we need to try and clear the fridge so eat as much as you can"


Oooh and my AMAZON package came this morning - good timing! But yeah, i found The Postal Service, Fatboy Slim, JayZ VS LinkinPark AND a bit of Rage - ALL for £16
Bargain mate.

And randomly - i'm looking forward to the in-flight movie for some reason... I hear its BrokeBack Mountain...

Hope you all have a wicked two weeks. I'll catch some of you soon no doubt but til then...

Enjoy the silence


3 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 6/27/2006 09:10:00 am

Sunday, June 25, 2006


Well, after watching the new series of Malcolm in the Middle, i was flicking channels and came across Madonna performing holiday on TOTP2

Had a sudden urge to get up and dance in front of the TV as my mother tried to change the channel.

Ho ho ho, then came my downfall as i lost balance on a rather ambitious spin (three times round!)

Then i fell onto the fireplace.

And that hurt.


Tomoro is my last exam - i am PYSCHED.
And unprepared as ever.

Seriously - the Economics Posse did NOTHING on our revision day except declare WAR on the drinks machine - which had swalloed our money.

I almost broke my finger - "ABORT ABORT! MAN DOWN!"

Can't believe it's like the last day i'll be in school til results most likely :S
I'm getting a weird feeling in my stomach.

And then OCEANAAA that evening. So far we have 14 people definately there - but still i do not know what the plan is. All i know is that i'll be at Osh by 10 before the door fee kicks in duh. But to Rev beforehand or not? Holler me back.

But yes. Last exam, last bus journey, it feels like the end of an era.

Oh, and i have to find about 4 million textbooks to take in with me tomoro.
I will be a right pack mule.

However, ending on a happier note - we have LOCATED my missing Maths txtbook. Ambray had it under her bed for the past year hahaha!
Saves me paying £20 to replace it whey!

Stay safe - no ambitious dancing in front of the TV kids!


4 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 6/25/2006 07:39:00 pm

Wednesday, June 21, 2006



The next step up in Anti-Revision.

I decided to just eat the day away.
The plan backfired.

I have somehow contracted food poisoning.


I am now curled up in a tiny ball. Wearing three fleeces.

And i'm still hungry.

And I have to be in early tomorrow. Paleface and all.


5 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 6/21/2006 11:42:00 am

Monday, June 19, 2006

Anti-Revision and Mocking of Will

Okay, Anti Revision method number god knows what.

Sunday. In a desperate bid to avoid Comms revision I endangered my life.


I cleared out a wasps nest.


You may think - what? What is she DOING? REVISE GIRL REVISE!

But instead - i went and helped my Dad clear out not one, not two but THREE wasps nests.

And i didn't get stung!!

But my Dad did.

It wasn't a Happy Fathers Day for him.

I'm sure you can imagine me running about. Possibly squealing. With a BADMINTON racket...

Okay - so add that to re-heeling shoes, making smoothies, cooking full breakfasts, MAKING A DRESS out of a skirt - which i'm well proud of - pimping my myspace profile, writing blogs, getting new sheet music, daytime TV...


Anti-Revision is great..

Anyway, short blog today - i'll leave you with something i thought was funny.

Subject: Cass is stupid.

Cass: And then im off to crete with helen :)
Zoe: Ahhahaha
Zoe: I thought you said
Zoe: i'm off to CREATE with Helen
Zoe: i was like ergh
Zoe: dirt
Cass: im goign off on my own
Cass: out the country
Cass: eeep
Zoe: its' not even like France or Spain
Zoe: those are close
Zoe: and you kiiinda know the language
Zoe: or guess it
Zoe: GREEK is different lol
Cass: pssh
Cass: i will be like
Cass: i know Michael Michael
Cass: and they will nod and give me respect
Cass: :)


Zoe: Michael Michael is from Cyprus you nob lol
Cass: Meh, tomato tomato


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# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 6/19/2006 10:27:00 pm

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


Yes, I've gone mental, the exams have BROKEN me.

I'm just not going to talk about Economics except, it was fun getting to tear across the perforated lines (yes, our paper is so big that they perforate the lines so you can tear it up into "manageable sizes")

I got to pretend to be an economist. But i sucked.

Moving on, leaving the Economics Posse and joining the GENERAL STUDIES CREW.

I did my only revision in the gap between the exams. My favourite type. Last minute.com!

But yes, our General Studies was HARD but surprisingly we all came out with smiles on our faces. There was only like 6 of us and they put us in the HARDING HALL. It was actually so quiet lolol

Oh - and thumping your chest DOES echo
Me: "*thump*"
Emma: "*thump thump*"
SarahMac: "*thump thump thump*"

haha the invigilators loved us... :/

Now, for those of you readers who REMEMBER the BEEZY incident - as a Crew, we decided to fit the word "Beezy" and related spellings into our exams as much as possible.

So we had
Arguing from authority is aserting the statement of someone of knowledge
Ie. Beezy said this, so it must be true because Beezy is the Chief of Police and BEezy would never lie.

And, in a sentence just randomly - the cause for this Beezy horrendous decision was...

Snaps to EmmAl who managed to slip in something like: "It was not beezy beazee beesie hard to imagine that.."

The examiners must think we suffer from Tourettes or something...

Oh, and at the beginning of the exam, Sarah Mac didn't know whether we were allowed to start or not, so TURNED AROUND IN HER SEAT to face me. I nodded - BREAKING EXAM CONDITIONS OMFG!!!111!!!!!!!!

And as ever, i answered the question with my GCSE Music knowledge of the development of the blues. Which is nothing. Here's a hint as to how it went.

Dom says:
wrote loads about space ships in my essay
Dom says:
i made up loads of facts
Zoe says:
I wrote about slavery
Zoe says:
i also made up lots of facts
Dom says:
Zoe says:
apparently, according to me
Zoe says:
the slaves invented the xylophone
Well, i found some connection between them and a xylophone and my pen COULDN'T HELP talking more!

Oh, and i decided to cause some disturbance in the middle of our second one. I decided that my table was ACTUALLY wonky so i raised my hand.

And waited.

And waited.

So i decided to wave it around. AND AROUND!
The old lady comes over
And i carried on waving it (kinda bored, y'know what it does to you?!)
She probably thought i was retarded.

I asked for a wedge.
"A whaaat?" she replied in a really loud WHISPER
"You want paper love?"
"Please can i have a WEDGE. A WEDGGGE" (still WHISPERing)

I then had a really idiotic idea to try and make the shape of it with my hands.

But then realised, it's REALLY HARD to make a wedge shape with your fingers..

She brought me a wedge. I carried on.
Everything was ok.

We have also decided that General Studies requires you to pretend to be a chav who has never seen the ballet and thinks art is for pansies. They hit you with questions like "Should ART be funded? How would YOU choose art for YOUR museum?"

Today we had "Why do more men live with their parents than women?"
I had an urge to write "BECAUSE THEY CAN'T WASH THEIR SOCKS"

But i need those marks. I will die if i fail General Studies.

So i left it to the last dying minutes before forcing myself to scribble something about women having to leave home to start families... in the house of their husband...staying at their home... cleaning... conforming... *dies*

I bet it's something really obvious like... i dunno.
Roll on Wednesday - it's TWO ESSAYS on two subjects that we choose. Who's up for slipping "Mrs Stott's son's a bad boy" into it?

I will if you do lol

9 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 6/14/2006 09:31:00 pm

Friday, June 02, 2006

Exams effect = sexually frustrated wusses?

The other day my mum had to come home early due to a distress call from me.

The story?

I was at home "revising" - basically surfing the net - the house was silent when i heard like a "thump" upstairs. Then the sound of stuff being moved around quickly. Now, i've been seeing my horror films. WE ALL know what that implies!

I grabbed the phone and waited for a second... and then there was a much louder CRASH and the sound of bottles and stuff being knocked over or dropped.


At this point i was absolutely BRICKING IT and ran out the front door with my keys and on the phone to my mum. I explained what happened and she asked if I had checked it out. I was like - HELLA NO.

So i was basically in hysterics down the phone and she came home from work (luckily only about 10 minutes away) So then we went to go check it out together...

Turned out that the bathroom shelf had fallen down and all the bottles and stuff on it were rolling around and stuff.
Crisis averted.

She decided to work at home for the rest of the day and I actually had to do some revision! End of. I feel like a proper girl

You know what i mean..

Anyways, moving onto other things - revision at school has been just as interesting. Right, HERE'S MY THEORY.

I reckon, that all the revision and stress has got all us girls totally sexually frustrated pent up (though this is all in our minds of course :/) I mean, Eve split her pants one day and everyone was shouting about how big her hole was getting. *cue girlish giggling when we realised the innuendo*

Mrs Hardern was talking about it being too hot and dry, and Debseses was like, "It's better that then it being really wet" *cue more girlish giggling when we realised the innuendo*

Oh and LOL at Danielle talking about the way she "depilates" her legs (posh word i'm using to sex thigns up) - WOAH sorry, i think i just passed on the pent up effect to the male readers - steady now.

Anyways, we were having a major discussion about it, followed by "But see, feel my leg here" , "Stroke that part - see how smooth that is compared to that" etc etc


Jesus, i really have to revise! I've done minimal recently, and "i'm not even lying". I feel bad cos these are like THE most important exams of my school career and I've done less than i did for the GCSEs.....

Good times! Can't believe it was 2 years ago?!



8 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 6/02/2006 03:34:00 pm

Monday, May 29, 2006

Stop press. News just in..

I am a monster

Have recently been given elastics for my braces by the orthodontist (oh how I love thee)

It's like having my jaw wired shut - -except I can open it a bit, you know, just to tease me.

My solace?
Quote Robee “No worries, you can ping them at people!”
Stoph“Or use them as hairbands like you did with mine!”

Though surely, the fun never stops now that my mouth has become a four stringed instrument?

It’s “only” for 7 weeks. I shall be a bad patient and not wear them when going out. Uh oh, jeapordising my treatment here!!


Moving on.

To be honest, the end of term was a while ago. I cannae be bothered to write out how the Ball went - I think you all saw for yourself. Pictures up in The Orange Locker.

Videos of "The Great Run" and "Our Own Project Mayhem : The Last Stand" are trying to be put up on Myspace, but it's being a wanker. I MAY even have to send the infamous Tom a message seeking help! :O

God, that dude must be raking it in right now. Shame no one actually knows his last name...

I may look it up.

Yes, i'm actually avoiding revision THAT much.

I dont know what, i just can't really get into it. I'll sit there reading my notes, but it's in one ear, out the other.

It doesn't help that the house is empty now that mon pere has fled the nest. I have complete run of the house and fridge from 8 til late. I sound like a party invite...

I love procrastinating. Today, I cut my mothers hair for her. We have a proper hairdressing cape thing as well! It was fun. We didn't have a proper spray gun, so we improvised and used the kind of spray gun you use for misting flowers....

This is a family of RESOURCEFULLNESS.
We'd be well useful on a desert island..

Oooh, speaking of mi madre. Prizes* for guessing which nature "celebrity" she meant when she referred to him as:

"Goodel or something? ...Boggle?"

I almost cried when i found out who she meant.

Goodel/Boggle is in fact ...........

Bill Oddie.



*There is no prize, i'm a big fat liar wh o trickst people for fun. Terms and conditions apply.

8 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 5/29/2006 03:45:00 pm

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Our Own Project Mayhem

Oh god, what can I say?

It was AMAZING. It was everything I’d hoped for and MORE.

Okay, for those of you who weren’t there and had several guesses at our “theme” – you were all wrong.

This year – we had a Pirates/ Treasure Island theme with the arrival of a Pirate Skip/Ship bringing bird flu to the AHS Island
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting (SPECIAL MENTION: these girls had to get in at 6.30 to meet the skip!!)
We had a huge decorated skip out the front (free may I add!) as well as a large banner saying WARNING, BIRD FLU EPIDEMIC- SCHOOL CLOSED – and a hella lot of hazard tape!!!
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

And then, our huge Jolly Roger flag out the tower block and our “We’re the TREASURE of AHS” banner.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Plus our sandpits, tiki garlands and 50FT ISLAND SCENE.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

And our hanging pirate remins!

Also - the GSC created a pigs head on a stick last minute to make a wicked LITERARY REFERENCE innit? Hope people understood the bit about the Headgirl of the Choir and (she can sing Csharp!) :)
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Oh god – so much to talk about, of course everything was mentioned in the LETTER TO PARENTS – the pics are coming up soon on the Locker.

ALSO – after the Leavers lunch – (in which me and Katus took advantage of the free food), a large group of us decided to STORM the Grammar school. All previous plans had to be scrapped as they had in fact locked almost ALL the gates. However, we made itafter getting apprehended by Venning – and there are a few amusing videos (to be put up) of a large line of pirates (and a hula girl!) running across the field during the lunchtime rush.

Then we legged it through our staff room – making a ruckus as usual – and managing to get ALL of us through in one piece! (it helped that there were only about 5 members of staff inside)

And yes – water fights, crying, food – it was a GOOD DAY.

Anyway = LEAVERS BALL tomorrow.

I just want to say thanks to everyone who worked hard to make Project Mayhem “the best I’ve ever seen “ (quote several teachers!) – whether you helped to create the scene or even just dressed the part – I think it’s a day that NONE of us will ever forget.

Thank you to ALL those who have been involved in my endeavours to cause havoc and have fun. I almost died when Ambray said in the assembly “And thanks to Zoe, who’s got me into the MOST trouble this year!” – I’d like to point out there is almost no truth behind that….

All my love, and hope to see you tomorrow night – the final thing I’ve been planning!


PS Thanks to those that signed my yearbook – there are OFFICIALLY no more spaces
PPS - Sorry? Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

8 comments of possible worth have been left
# posted by Zoe Dubs @ 5/18/2006 08:35:00 pm

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